still birth greiving - Miscarriage and Child Loss Discussion Forum

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Miscarriage and Child Loss:still birth greiving

2006-09-22

Name: david I live in canada, my wife had a still birth at 20 weeks last year.

We delivered our baby, as advised by the doctor, then I washed her and cleant her and we spent time with her so that we could REMEMBER that we once had a baby girl. All this was done on the advise of the doctors and the specialist nurses who deal with still-births.

My question is - Is it the same in India ?
I KNOW IT'S TOUGH - BUT PLEASE SHARE YOUR STORY.

I'm curious becasue - allot of moms / parents don't want to see their baby - but, we having choosen to spend time with ours, can safely say, was the best decision we made in our lives and I strongly suggest every Mom / Dad do the same.

P.S. We had another babay boy three months ago - All you moms keep trying - every cloud has a silver lining and remember all babies who leave us go straight to heaven !

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2006-12-03

Name: sudha
Subject:

hello

hi david,
i am from india mumbai .. on 4th nov 2006 even i delivered a still born who had said goodbye inside me . i choose not to see her my husband had to see as he had performed the funeral . it is impossible that i forget what happened but i love the image that i have in my mind of my daughter Rishona my husband says when ever he closes his eyes he sees her lifeless body which is such a painful memory ..... congrats for your little boy and may god bless all of you

2006-09-26

Name: mina
Subject:

I didnt see

Hi David

I am so sorry for your loss.
I am in India, and lost my baby at 37weeks, 4mnths ago.

We preferred not to see our daughter. But we didn't think much before taking the decision. I thought I wouldn't be able to leave her, If I see her once.

Sometimes I feel I want to see her. But most of the time I feel it was right not to see. I have a picture of her in mind. A grown up girl whom I can talk to and who comforts me in my painful days.

I think it depends on individual decision actually.

Congratulations on your new baby. You story bring me hope.

Thanks
mina

2006-09-22

Name: Aarti
Subject:

Seeing the baby

Hi David,

I had a stillbirth at 17 weeks last year. You are right. I think the best thing I did was to hold my baby and share that experience with my husband. Once I knew that the baby had died I logged onto discussion groups for those with pregnancy losses. Most people told me that I would regret it if I did not see the baby. I am very glad that I took their advice.

Congratulations on your new little boy!!! That is wonderful news! I am expecting another baby too.

As far as I have heard from experiences in the family, it is different in India. But I can't be certain.

With warm regards to you and your wife, Aarti

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