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Sex:extramarital affair
2008-12-15
Name: ruchi kumari We have been happily married for almost 11 years. Have two kids aged 7 and 3. There is nothing wrong in our relationship as husband and wife. There is enough physical and emotional bonding. Hubby loves and respects me.
Through intenet, I had made few friends. I am a very outgoing and social person. Since beginning, I felt something different about one man. He lives in the same city, and is also happily married. First we chatted few times, then talked over phone, and then finally met. He never showed any kind of desperation, and would always respect me. We would talk about our families, general issues, day to day topics etc. It went on for almost a year. Few days back when we met, somehow we ended up holding each other' s hand. One thing led to another, and we kissed. It felt so great. I really admire this person,and feel that am deeply in love with him. There is tremendous love and respect for each other, and it is definitely not just a physical attraction.

I know, as per the society norms, this is wrong. But, I feel so attached to him, that it is quite difficult for me to leave him. Can someone please guide me.
Thanks
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2016-06-29
#1
Name: dinu
Subject:  RE:extramarital affair
Hi am ayurveda doctor from mangalore, age 42, married. Life is boring and monotonous. looking for some good genuine married or unmarried female friends, or occasional meet and longterm friendship confidentialy, with out troubling each others personal life. you can trust me there is no harm or problems from my side, and any moment if we feel our friendship is troubling our personal life, that moment we keep distance mutualy. am not only behind sex, sensitive, caring and respects women a lot too.please sugest can i do this ?
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2012-11-18
#2
Name: Anonymous
Subject:  its normal, try other options and stay in marriage
A year back, I was busy with demanding career, im a mother of two living in chennai. didnt have time to hang out to find a guy!! .Rather than settle for being at home alone, going through bad times..i thought of a companion accompany me for lunch/dinner/theater, ., nightclub or party..and spend time at my place. I had voices inside ”nice girls don’t do that” and worse, I didnt want to be \" labelled and judged”.
I found some ads online. and messaged their mobile. I asked them all sorts of questions about how it would work. I didn’t feel confident enough to have those sorts of conversations, so i skipped and arranged to come to my place. The experience ranged from ”an intellectual conversation over coffee/dinner”, to ”ground-breaking makin love ” . They made me feel good about my choices, gave me confidence that if this is something i wanted to do, im allowed to. It wasnt all about x, but was about making me feel special. I could safely extend my boundaries, doing ”something for myself” after working full-time, raising children, etc. I think women want to do this, but they’re like me, it might take u six months thinking about it before u do. I was hesitant to tell anyone abt it, as in reality women tend not to talk about their needs. I would have rather gone without love/x than face the fear of asking for it from a stranger. Women ”still think it’s not allowed.

I thought i will share some of the cute guys here, to help chennai women find the right guys..

--Eigte -sicx-nine-fivve-eit-foor-sicx-sven-three-tree (Raghu)
- Nine-zeroo-too-fivve-foor-wone-none-foor-sicx-too (sam)
-eit-sicx-nine-fivve-nine-sicx-foor-too-seven-eite (karthik).

They did travel to my place(they have their place too) and made my time memorable. Clean , DD free , working IT professionals (male companions in chennai parttime) , globe trotters, who just freelance. and engage in safe activities like conversations sensual massage, foreplay and activities, that you like the most. If you prefer You can message them at their mobile, just as short as ' Hi' , i guess they understand.. Have a good time.
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2009-06-11
#3
Name: pummy
Subject:  thats disgusting
how can u be so selfish ! if this was the opposite u would be crying, u would call him a cheat n even more harsher words, my god i cant get over how india is becoming so \" modern\"
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2009-02-02
#4
Name: neha
Subject:  hi
i ruchi..infact i m also from del...and i also feel the guilt at times and the person on the other hand has to handle my depression/guilt on being in this relationship... but he is very supportive
many times i tried to end up this relationship but cdn' t successed as i feel he has become part of my life....

so take care of ur family and yes married woman 2 has right to feel happy/ important (i feel so)... i think its high tm to think broadly based on the today' s woman sch and mutlitasking....if u wsh u can share ur emmails id and we continue exchanging mail from that id
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2016-10-19
#5
Name: Inder
Subject:  RE:hi
Use email thru modern way
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2009-02-03
#6
Name: ruchi
Subject:  mail id
Hi neha, i tried, but could not. why dont you send me your mail id.

tks
ruchi
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2009-02-02
#7
Name: ruchi
Subject:  hi
hi neha, i tried to post my email id, but could not. maybe, it is against the regulations of the site. I dont know, how to give u my direct mailid now. Kindly let me know if you have any idea.
thanks
Ruchi
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2009-01-30
#8
Name: neha
Subject:  hi
hi ruchi,

i know how it feels to be be in such relationship... i too have a frd we also met in similar ways ...holding hands and than physical too... we both are marr...

may be we like the importance we both give to each other which in marriered life we sm how forget to give it to each other and take our spouses for granted...

i totally support ur relationship for the sake of emotional need...and i too think that this relationship is not socially acceptable and all those guilt feeling... but than i cant think my life w/o him now.... i m in this realtionship from 7 years it has become part of my life and gives tremendaous staisfaction to me .....so if this realtionship gives u satisfaction than go for it and take care of all ur socail resp too.... by the way wd u like to sharewhich part of india r u from..if u can be frds...
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2009-01-30
#9
Name: ruchi
Subject:  Hello
Hello Neha,

Your response came as a breather. It is good to know that someone else is also sailing in the same boat. I joined this forum as I was having a guilt, and wanted a outlet. but the kind of responses I have been getting have been really unsupportive, and non-understanding. Here, I am not asking for a big lecture on morals, but we Indians specialize in doing that.
I really appreciate you support. I can understand your feelings in this relationship.
I am from Delhi.
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2009-01-29
#10
Name: Mel
Subject:  Hi Ruchi
Tell me one thing... Would you be ok with it, if your husband had a similar lady friend... whom he admired so much because of all the wonderful social work she does, and how she takes care of her beautiful family and her wideowed sibling and so on and so forth ?

Would you mind if they felt that they are so connected, that they occassionally hold hands and kiss. And feel attracted to each other ?

One day your husband WILL find out. And then.. YOU WILL BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE TRAUMA THAT YOUR FAMILY, ESP YOUR CHILDREN WILL GO THROUGH.

So many women live in abusive relationships for the sake of their children. You have a perfect family and a kind husband, and yet you want to enjoy all aspects of life. There has to be compromise somewhere.

Some people choose to be single and enjoy this kind of excitement that comes with new relationships and different people. They sacrifice the stability, security and warmth that married people have. Others choose to get married and sacrifice the novelty of ne relationships for the sake of love, companionship and the peace of mind of their families. But, you want both. YOU ARE TOO SELFISH TO COMPROMISE ANYTHING FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR FAMILIES.

YOU TALK SO HIGHLY OF THAT MAN. No matter what charity work he does, or how he takes care of his wideowed sister... HE IS A SELFISH MAN, WHO CANNOT BE TRUSTED AS HE IS DOING WHAT PLEASES HIM, WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES ON HIS WIFE AND KIDS... JUST AS YOU ARE TOO.

Maybe one day if your husband does the same thing, or the other man' s wife does this with another man... then you both will realise how selfish and untrustworthy you both are.

I don' t think you will like my advice, but I CANNOT BE FLUFFY AND SUGAR COATED. A HAT IS A HAT... AND ADULTERY IS ADULTERY. I FEEL SORRY FOR YOUR CHILDREN. I feel sorry that they have a mother who cannot control her urges for their sake.

And who are you kidding ? There is nothing physical... from talking to sharing... to holding hands, to kissing... won' t be long before you both will jump into bed.

Pathetic !
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2009-01-28
#11
Name: guna
Subject:  good
Dear Ruchi if all indian woman were like you life would be exciting. But I believe your story is a fake. It is the typical habit of a guy to seek out EMA and then brag about it in a forum. I am sure you are now looking forward to the sex talk which you have generated and dozens of guys will drool about you.
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2009-01-25
#12
Name: Ansari
Subject:  Answer to the ex marital affair
Hi Ruchi,
As per my personal advice which I am involved as well is to enjoy the relation ship and continue have sexual relationship provided you can keep it a top secret...this type of human indulgence is extremely enjoyable, you have to be very lucky to get a suitable partner..like both shoul' nt interfere with thier family..it can be easily destroy,I will bet you any money if your husbund get a chance he would go for it (most of them would)

Do it and enjoy but do not get busted.
Extreme pleasure extreme risk...think?

Good luck

Love

Ansari
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2009-01-28
#13
Name: ruchi
Subject:  hi
Hello Ansari, You are right, it is very difficult to find someone with whom who can bond well, and who respects your limitations and privacy. Like you mentioned, this relationship is extremely enjoyable for us, without any kind of sexual relationship. We both have a great time together just sharing jokes, about our lives, his work, my home and other general issues. So, how long have you been involved? how have you managed to keep it a secret so far? and, do you ever wonder what if your spouse comes to know?
R
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2009-01-20
#14
Name: indian
Subject:  never think of another guy...
my point is... never think of another relationship. You said you did have a very happy married life with two lovely kids.. what makes you think to get into this new relationship. Would you be happy if you hear about your good husband having a relationship with another lady...What makes you think This new friend has no other realtionships like this. I guess your attraction towards him started off like a FRIEND and now its become PHYSICAL.NEVER HAVE SEX.Think of your kids..Your a model for them. My opinion ITS A BIG NO.
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2008-12-24
#15
Name: Saba
Subject:  Be careful what you choose
Hi Ruchi,
Life is full of temptations like this, but these are the testing times for any relationship. There is a man who is betraying his current family for a relationship with you, what is the guarantee that he wont do it again to you? Does your husband deserve this, is this what you really want to give him after 11 years of loyalty? And when it comes to your preferences, think about it very seriously before getting into any troubled waters..begin with the end in mind.
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2008-12-28
#16
Name: ruchi
Subject:  agree
yes, what you are saying is right, life can be tempting at times. Logically speaking, I know and understand that what I am doing is wrong. But, I am not leaving my family, nor is he, for this relationship. It is just the that we make really good friends. There are lots of things that I appreciate in him as a human being such as he does a lot of chariy work, he takes great care of his entire family including his widowed sister and her son, he owns a small company and holds himself responsible for welfare for all his employees, and many such things. And there are few simple things that he admires about me. And thats it. Like I said before, it is not a physical attraction, but a great mutual respect and liking. He has always told me that whatever decision I will take regarding our friendship, ever, he will always respect it, without any question.

This simple friendship gives me immense happiness. Leaving it is so so very difficult for me, hence asking for some help.
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2008-12-22
#17
Name: SM
Subject:  Extra Marital affair
You should think about your lovely kids before you enter into a relationship. Kids are the most affected by any decision you make.

Stay away from a long term relationship as this lead you nowhere. You will end up ruining your happy married life!

Goog Luck!
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