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Articles:Only child or lonely child?
2001-10-08
Name: Editor In this day and age of nuclear, double income families, not many couples choose to have more than one child. The reasons range from lack of space, money or resources to lack of time. Fortunately, the old theory of the only-lonely child is gradually changing. As many couples opt for a single offspring, parenting a single child is not looked upon as a special responsibility. Here are tips for parents to effectively raise a single child:

1. View your single child as an advantage, mainly because your attention and concern need not be evenly divided between two or more children.
2. Do not shower gifts, but time. You can spend all the quality time with him.
3. Keep your child busy.
4. Introduce your child to literature. Books can be long lasting friends. If your son develops an interest in French, encourage him to pursue it.

Do you have a single child? How do you entertain him? Share with us!
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2010-08-26
#1
Name: vg
Subject:  only child
Hi,
I have 2 and 1/ year old daughter. ours is an intercast marriage with support of our parents. i would like to have another child but i am afried to have because in future for doing marriage to my kids will be difficult because of our intercast marriage... can anybody give some advice is it good to have second child..?
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2009-11-30
#2
Name: sharda
Subject:  only child
dear all worried only child mom, i do not think only is lonely, let me tell you why, me and my bro who have a difference of 3 yrs at the age of 9 (when i was 6) my bro was sent to boarding from their he went to some college and from their he was selected in defence forces and he was out their only, we got him married i have a bhabhi but my bro do you think he was their for me as a sibling rather during my adolescence i was diagnosed for clinical depression, thus i feel i was deprived of the status of only child and never had the sibling which everyone assumes i have.
so i strongly feel its better to have a mature, friendly only child then a traumatic childhood for either one.
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2007-12-15
#3
Name: ambika
Subject:  Single Child
i am the mother of a 4yr old girl.Of late i have bn feeling tht she gets very lonely.she also keeps talking of most of her classmates having siblings.we have never thgt of having another child till now.but now i feel it is very important for her to have a companion.
I myself,being an only child know how much i have longed for a sibling whith whom i cld share my feelings.
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2007-01-16
#4
Name: shraddha
Subject:   Only child or lonely child?
I have a 6 years old son.My husband and I both are working.My son asks for a baby as all his friend or classmates have one. But I feel it will be a lot of responsibility to have another child. Then we have to think every thing double, may be education, marriage or other things. But only child is definitely LONELY. If mother is a house wife then also i think child needs a friend to play and enjoy more. No matter how much time we spend with him, child is always happy with the children.
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2005-05-08
#5
Name: eekhem aw
Subject:  only child
*A big supportive hug for Neetu* It is natural for an Asian parent to feel confused about the merits of having an only child, cos this is a new chapter in our culture, which is traditionally based on large families.

You may be encouraged to know that the best person to guide you on this yourself :) Take charge of getting more info about the topic, reflect on where your values and attitudes come from (largely cultural), and know that in this day and age you can start to make choices that work for you, trusting yourself to make the best decision you can live with.

The editor gave very wise tips: not to spoil an only child, expose the child to a rich and stimulating education, be his/her supportive parent in many senses of the word, give the most precious gift of time.

I have a single 5 year old. Ironically his social life is better for him not having a sibling cos i can bring him out more, and organise playtime with friends more. I personally also find it easier to balance my own albeit parttime career interests and domestic chores without 2 kids to look after.

To put it another way, my life is integrated in terms of work/family roles and I dont define myself as working and not working in a traditional sense, because I am also working and doing valuable things as a mum and a wife supporting the family unit. The money i dont earn in my family roles is seen as savings from having to engage childcare and domestic help if i should go out and work fulltime in a traditional sense. The time is also the cost of investing in a human life, much more enriching than any money-paying job can bring.

Good luck all new parents of the 21st century, in this expanive information age, you can truly harness the power of information and knowlege to gain wisdom and happiness in life :)

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2006-07-12
#6
Name: neeraja
Subject:  Single Child
Hi,

i don't mean to force my ideas on you.. but do think seriously & decide whether you want to stop at one child or have more.
I am writing from my own life experience. I am a 38 year old mom of a single child, a 13 year old son. I never regretted my decision. when people asked me when I was planning the next one, i used to get angry, it was none of their business. My husband & me never seriously discussed about planning another one. Our son never asked for a sibling. he was & is the center of our lives. Not until my sister, who is 6 years younger, had her second child about 9 months ago & sent me this cute pictures of the baby with the elder 3 year old, with the caption " i have a playmate " & another one with all 4 members of her family with the caption 'our family is complete"!!

Well, it was a blow to me.. i started to browse all the websites to look for info & had the shock of my life!! A single child is a LONELY CHILD, no matter whatever we as parents do. i read reviews like being a single childin itself is a sickness!

i feel so helpless now.. i somehow convinced my 43 year old husband to go to the GYN for a check -up! got the scan & all tests done.. the results were good, the doc says people nowadays try for their 1st pregnancy after 40, especially in the westernised world.. but, am i prepared? definetley not! God alone knows when i will conceive, if i try after all these years! i cannot go back in time & give my son a sibling to make up for all the lonley years! the second one will be of no company to the elder one! i may end up with messing lives of all 4 of us, while the fear of whether my husband & me or either of us will live to see our kids settle down!! probably the younger will be a burden to the elder, if some tragedy would strike!!

Now I am going to India on a holiday next week, where my sister has already arrived form the US with her "complete family"!! i don'tknow how i am going to take it!

So, think well & decide while you still have time.

THIS IS MY ADVICE TO ALL PARENTS WHO ARE PLANNING OR HAVE ONLY A SINGLE CHILD & STILL HAVE TIME TO CHANGE THEIR DECISION...THINK WELL & DECIDE.. DO NOT REGRET LATER!!
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2004-03-16
#7
Name: kiran
Subject:  only child
i am mother of a 5 year old .the only reason i would think of a next child is becoz my son would have company. but on second thoughts managing 2 will not be easy+ the amount of stree sometimes as i do get moody to often .can somebody tell what would be right to do?
CONFUSED
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2004-08-22
#8
Name: Deepti
Subject:  only child
I am exactly in the same boat. Moreover, my son specifically told me he wants a brother/sister whose parents we are in the same way that we are his parents and who lives in OUR house.
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2003-12-17
#9
Name: pratima
Subject:  we can be best friend of our lonely child
good tips to add on i would say why can't we become our childa best friend.
now a days a 5yr & onward old child wants to be more friendly to parents than to run away from them out of fear &respect:is n't it?
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2003-08-08
#10
Name: Rajesh
Subject:  I don't agree
If everyone thinks about a single Child,In future our whole social system will collaspe.Who will be U cle & aunt ? Psycholically also a single child who is over protected child veither have SUPERIORITY COMPLEX-which we have seen quite often in single child.There are plenty of other reasons (Disadvantges for single child)
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2005-06-07
#11
Name: pushpa
Subject:  good
rearly good but there is no space for one kid also in india all the time my kid also askes me why no stayes in our house all the people will come and go but it is very difficult to offer two kids(even though my husband work for IBM what about small in come group)
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2003-08-08
#12
Name: Rajesh
Subject:  I don't agree
If everyone thinks about a single Child,In future our whole social system will collaspe.Who will be U cle & aunt ? Psycholically also a single child who is over protected child veither have SUPERIORITY COMPLEX-which we have seen quite often in single child.There are plenty of other reasons (Disadvantges for single child)
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2003-07-05
#13
Name: Neetu
Subject:  only child
I am confused whether one child feels lonely or not.second child means you need more finance according to our present enviornment.i feel after my babay grows up he feel lonely ,no body is there whom he shares his feeling,like we have brother /sister to share our feelings.Is any body guide me
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2002-08-19
#14
Name: nancy
Subject:  no more lonely
good article.
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2003-07-05
#15
Name: neetu
Subject:  please guide me
how do you say no more lonely.tell me what do you feel after second baby
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2001-10-08
#16
Name: Mohini
Subject:  Lonely Child
I have a 6 year old son. My husband and I are both working and we cannot afford a second sibling for him. Is it that a child will not learn to give and share without a sibling?
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2004-10-06
#17
Name: Deepti
Subject:  Sharing
My son (only child of course) readily gives and shares his things with other children. But that does not make him any less lonely.
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