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Role of in-laws:extremely interfering in laws
2010-04-13
Name: Tripti We got married 4 yrs ago and issues cropped up just 2 mths after our marriage. As per my MIL' s instructions, my FIL (who himself is very interfering) speaks. They would interfere by checking on our cc statements/ to where we go/ what time we come/ how much time we spend in the ROOM!! Initially I did not speak at all for the fear of my FIL (i used to go weak on my knees even while crossing his room), for the way / what is he going to speak. This affected my relationship wt my husband and after our son was born the problems increased for me. i had no support on raising him. If he is crying for some reason ...i wld not get any help.They only wanted to play wt him and when it was time to take care ....he wld have to be wt me....for changing diapers, even making him eat etc. I wnt into a depression fr 3 mths and finally we moved out to gurgaon after an argument. later after a few mths they also took anthr flat near us and started staying there. My husband and son used to meet thm over wknds but not me. However, after some time i only tried to patch up by calling them for our son' s 1st bday...to which my mil refused and snt my FIL. Not even my BIL was part of it. however, now we go every wknd on my husband' s insistence to meet them....which gets too much for me bcoz we hardly get time to spend together. my husband is dependent on them for smallest of things...from paying bills to purchasing household things etc. He cannt take financial decisions on his own. His father keeps a check on each and every thing. To the extent that he keeps him (my husband) financially dependent on him. now the problem is that my son is getting overly dependent on them. they r teaching him all sorts of things from…nana nani r not gud. give him gifts which r spoiling him. he also insists that he wants to go to their house everyday. they make him eat anything which does not suit him and then falls ill. i tell my husband to tell them not to...but they wld' nt listen. i have suffered alot wt them but dont want my child to get spoilt. pls help how to i handle this.
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2016-07-08
#1
Name: Ishu
Subject:  RE:extremely interfering in laws
Hi Person,
Listen they are elder then us and we are nothing in front of their experience so it would be good if you learn some from them.
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2016-06-30
#2
Name: tripti
Subject:  RE:extremely interfering in laws
Hi,
You are not only person who suffers from in laws there are many but you have to understand the situation and solve the issue as early as possible.
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2016-06-22
#3
Name: Madhu
Subject:  RE:extremely interfering in laws
Hi Tripti,
In laws role would be present in every one's life and you cannot escape from them.You have to bear them if they suffer you nothing can be done.
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2016-06-16
#4
Name: Amruta
Subject:  RE:extremely interfering in laws
Hi Tripti,
I do not know why do in laws behave like this because i have seen many people behaving in the similar way.The problem is with in laws or from the daughter in law.
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2016-06-09
#5
Name: Medha
Subject:  RE:extremely interfering in laws
Hi Tripti,
Some how you came out of the house from your in laws.It will be solved when even your brother in law gets married.So you just wait and let the marriage had happen.Every thing will be solved.
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2016-06-02
#6
Name: Sophia
Subject:  RE:extremely interfering in laws
Hi tripti,
It is common issue in all families.I too do not know that in laws also were once in laws to their in laws and they have crossed that stage and they would know what to be done and what naught.
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2016-05-26
#7
Name: Pari
Subject:  RE:extremely interfering in laws
Hi Tripti,
So what you have done to solve the issue can you say because the solution you have chose might give any boost to the people who do have problems with in laws also and they will also sort out their problems also.
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2016-05-17
#8
Name: Sweety
Subject:  RE:extremely interfering in laws
Hi lady,
I can understand your situation but you have to solve according to your problem only because no one knows what exactly happens at your home and i think your problem has been solved also can you say how did you solve it.
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2016-05-14
#9
Name: hari
Subject:  RE:extremely interfering in laws
Hi Tripti,
In laws will interfere and you need to keep quite because we cannot do any thing against to them but when time comes every thing will be cleared and nothing more than this for the person also.
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2016-05-12
#10
Name: Swetha
Subject:  RE:extremely interfering in laws
HI tripti,
What you want to do exactly then because role of in laws will be in your life at any time and you need to move on you have to ignore which ever you wont like if they say anything think that they were your parents.
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2016-05-10
#11
Name: Alok
Subject:  RE:extremely interfering in laws
Hello Tripti,
In laws will be like that only and you need to move to them accordingly then only your problem will solved and you will not face any disputes between you people also i hope you will understand and solve your issue only.
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2013-10-04
#12
Name: Samira Jain
Subject:  no adjusting
This is really disgusting. I think that it is not worth adjusting. For a peaceful family life, it is better to separate. Once in a while occasional meeting would give to happy family times.
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2013-10-03
#13
Name: Preeti
Subject:  Akash...What a fool
Men like you should stay away from marriage because your too selfish. I' m sure your parents are nice people & I hope you live happy ever after together forever.....Never judge people if you' ve never walked in their shoes...it' s a life lesson and after reading your comments it' s clear you' ve not learnt much....
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2013-07-15
#14
Name: Aakash
Subject:  
@ Malvika

You are right this time for a change!! I am a worldly wise chap.))

Please do try hard for I seriously doubt the prayer of a sinner would be accepted by the heavens above.

So, hurry now, I believe I am leaving you with loads of work at hand.

Toodles!
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2016-02-22
#15
Name: shriya
Subject:  hi
@ akash r u out of ur mind it does not mean all DIL are all the same. u boys are always mummyy's pets always do whatever they say after marriage but before marriage u do what u want to. y so muc change in behaviour. girl comes to ur house for living her whole life with u and how could u boys do to her like this like taking away her freedom and her husband too.
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2013-07-17
#16
Name: Tripti
Subject:  
Let´ s all spare this guy!!

@Aakash
get a life and get out of this power struggle. I too pity the girl you´ ll be associated with!
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2013-07-13
#17
Name: A
Subject:  

@ malvika


@ MALVIKA

ok grannie, you surely must have made your husband' s life hell by now by turning him into his slave

so the entire fault is man' s family even if the wife backstabs them

she has to learn to reciprocate the love her in-laws give

ok so the kid is not the wife' s, is she doing a big favour on the father by bringing the kid into the world

it makes your biases all more evident
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2013-07-14
#18
Name: Malvika Shahi
Subject:  
Hahahaha.....i expected such kind of response.....you are the judge of the world....and you know everything.....i only pray for the girl whom you will be associated with.....Gud luck !!
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2012-11-12
#19
Name: radha
Subject:  the role of in law is very important
the role of in law is very important in my life as they are very cooperating and fun loving.. i am a working women and my in laws looks after my baby n thats really sweet of them... is there an1 like me who wans to share their views or experiences???
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2012-08-28
#20
Name: Nan
Subject:  Interfering In-laws (Tripti´ s Post)
Hi Tripti, I would suggest that instead of Mr. Akash' s advice, you take a firm stand on your life. Surely, Akash' s advice is shallow-minded and he doesn' t seem to understand the seriousness of your problem. I agree you are now a Mom and for the sake of the child, you will not be able to break the relationship so easily. In such a case, try being strict with your husband and express your feelings clearly. Tell him upfront that you feel neglected and disrespected by your in-laws. If he is a good husband, he will surely find a way to balance his relationship between parents and wife. On the contrary, if he is self-conceited and arrogant, he will threaten to divorce you or may become verbally abusive or even violent. However, whatever the risks be, you should take a chance and speak to him about your feelings. Tell him the following:
1) You would visit your in-laws only once a month as the rest of the weekends, you want to spend time only wit husband and child.
2) Tell your husband stories where men have been self-dependent and have made decisions on their own, especially financially and tell him he needs to be man enough to stand on his own. After all, parents are growing old and may not be able to help him forever!
3) Tell your husband that your own parents and his parents should be treated equally. If one weekend/month, u people visit his parents, next month should be your own.
4) Suggest to him (say this politely) that if in-laws continue to poison your child against nana-nani, then there are ways to deal with this, for e.g., legal help/police support.

Last but not the least, keep reminding your husband that you are educated and even may want to go for a job! Find out details from the internet on the police and legal support available against such interference for your own safety. Be careful how to use them, but nonetheless, knowing all that will give u lot of courage!!

I actually came to this forum looking for similar help, but now finding similar such stories here. I fully understand your situation as I am going through something very similar and it has just been 1 and a half years of marriage and I am pregnant also! I am just wondering what will happen in the rest of my life, though I do continue to be brave. I guess, some of us just ought to wait for the right time to strike it back to such immature men who don' t understand the importance of having a loving wife around! All the best to you.
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Last 7 Posts of this Board
RE:Mother-in-law spoiling my child
hello kajal,
if you are rudely talking with her, then this is not way to talking with your mother in law, you tell her in polite way, your son is her grand son, so she never think about his bad effects.... - ruchita [View Message]
RE:Mother-in-law spoiling my child
hello kajal,
stop your negative thinking towards your mother in law, she is your son grand mother too, so if she gave some sweet like sugar to him its just because of her love towards him.... - reshma [View Message]
RE:Mother-in-law spoiling my child
hello kajal,
if you are dont like your mother in law behaviour then tell her on face, that you dont whenever she gave sugar to her son, so she may be stop giving sugar to him, and your porblem will be sort out.... - kamna [View Message]
RE:Mother-in-law spoiling my child
hello kajal,
you think that excess sugar given to him by your mother in law, and thats why you are worried about your son, so dont take stress of this thing, your son is little now, after some years, he will stop eating sugar by selfly.... - nandita [View Message]
RE:Mother-in-law spoiling my child
hello kajal,
dont take your mother in law in wrong sense, if you are mother of your son, then she is also grand mother of your son, she also has all right to pampering him, and love him.... - rajni [View Message]
RE:Mother-in-law spoiling my child
hello kajal,
dont worry about this small issue, and also dont stress any topic between you and your mother in law, after some years, your son will stop eating sugar self only, so dont take tension.... - rasika [View Message]
RE:Mother-in-law spoiling my child
hello kajal,
you and your mother in law, sit calmely, you try to tell her advantage and disadvantage of sugar for our body, and convience her not to give sugar to her son now onwards.... - rahcita [View Message]

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