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Joint Family:Dealing with abusive wife
2015-04-07
Name: Arun I wanted to gain some external views and advice on a situation that I am facing. I am married for 4 years now. We live abroad, both are well educated and are working. Wife is pregnant with our first child.

Since our marriage, my wife has been complaining about my parents, picking fights on small things and blocking any conversation with my parents. She has been very critical about my job and my salary and complaining about money matter.

These days she constantly abuses me and my parents. She has declared that parents should not be allowed to visit us abroad. Not allowing me to speak to them either. She has declared that she will not allow parents to see our child.

I am choosing not to respond since doing so escalates the quarrel and never turns into a rationale discussion. The abuse and criticism is affecting my personal and professional life.

I have communicated the issues to in-laws and they support wife' s behavior and abusive nature.

How would you recommend to deal with the situation? What are the ways to bring parents and wife closer? How to ensure the family remains in harmony?


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2017-02-16
#1
Name: vikas
Subject:  RE:Dealing with abusive wife
hello arun,
i advice you that, you are both working and independent person, then why dont you afraid to her, give her answer of her behavior from your behavior, you also dont respect her family. then she knew the feelings.
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2017-02-16
#2
Name: gita
Subject:  RE:Dealing with abusive wife
hello arun,
feel so sad about you, and after reading your story, you suffer from lots of critical situation because of your wife, so why dont you give her divorce, and settle down your life second time.
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2016-10-29
#3
Name: sangeeta
Subject:  RE:Dealing with abusive wife
hello arun
you had posted this post long back ago, what is current situation at your home, is there any solution comes out, or still situation like this only, she was not allowed till now or she allowed now to meet parents.
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2016-10-29
#4
Name: suresha
Subject:  RE:Dealing with abusive wife
hello arun,
i suggest you to sit with her, means only both of you communicate face to face no involvement of her family and your family too, ask her what she want and why she behave like this way.
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2016-10-29
#5
Name: sumit
Subject:  RE:Dealing with abusive wife
hello arun,
dont give her chance to dominate you, you give her answer in her way only, she should also know how to keep respect of mother and father in law like her own parents they are also someones parents.
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2016-10-29
#6
Name: rojiya
Subject:  RE:Dealing with abusive wife
hello arun,
feel so bad about your situation that you are suffer from this situation lonely, because parents is our priority and wife and kid also same on priority side, but your situation is very bad.
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2016-10-29
#7
Name: jigar
Subject:  RE:Dealing with abusive wife
hi arun
why you dont file complaint against your wife, and law from other country is very strong and strict, to take advice from good lawyer, and then only take further step against her.
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2016-09-29
#8
Name: Chandrakala
Subject:  RE:Dealing with abusive wife
Hi Arun, just ask her what is the trouble she is having with your parents and get it sorted as soon as possible. Its very important to know the story from both the side so talk to her in detail.
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2016-09-14
#9
Name: darshil
Subject:  RE:Dealing with abusive wife
hi,
why you not file fir against her for mental torture with this reaction you can threaten to her and she also will not try to disrespect you and your parents,
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2016-09-14
#10
Name: vandana
Subject:  RE:Dealing with abusive wife
hi arun,
i can understand how difficult to deal with situation like this, whn your wife is totaly against to your parents and not to allow you to take with them, but you have your personal opinions and personal life too.
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2016-09-14
#11
Name: tanushree
Subject:  RE:Dealing with abusive wife
hello arun.
dont dominate by her directely ask your wife that why she always questioning to you and its a very wrong things, she is your wife she is partner not your boss to ask you quetining.
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2016-09-14
#12
Name: neerja
Subject:  RE:Dealing with abusive wife
hi arun,
i suggest you,speak her directely on her face and reach on some conclusion and take decision both of you its effect on your child future too.
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2016-09-14
#13
Name: taniya
Subject:  RE:Dealing with abusive wife
hi,
i read your problem, and i tell you that no one can help you in this situation better than you only, try to balance all situation.and try to heal up with problems, best of luck
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2016-09-14
#14
Name: nabiya
Subject:  RE:Dealing with abusive wife
hi,
is you and your wife have some common good friend, with the help of this friend you can try to communicate and try to convence to handle this situation, and try to understand her view also.
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2016-09-14
#15
Name: dipashri
Subject:  RE:Dealing with abusive wife
hi,
i read your post and i can undertstand your situation because parents are so much important in our life and no one can replace parents love and care without expecting any things.
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2016-09-14
#16
Name: ketaki
Subject:  RE:Dealing with abusive wife
hi arun,
you had posted this post long back ago and you have child too so before take any decision you think about your child too, your any decision effect on your child future too.
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2016-09-14
#17
Name: pratigya
Subject:  RE:Dealing with abusive wife
hi arun,
in this situation you have to take stand because your wife and parents are equal important in your life, so take a clear decision and tell to your wife, and try to communicate with her.
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2016-09-14
#18
Name: pradumnya
Subject:  RE:Dealing with abusive wife
hello arun,
if she try to dominate you in all things like personal and professional then you have to tell her that its your life and you have right to go as per your view there is no need of her views in your life.
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2016-09-14
#19
Name: madhira
Subject:  RE:Dealing with abusive wife
hello,
In husband and wife relationship trust and respect is so much important factors, its play a big role in this relationship, if you give respect in return you get same, but if not there is something going wrong.
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2016-09-14
#20
Name: monish
Subject:  RE:Dealing with abusive wife
hi arun,
firstly i appreciate that you involve her family too, and told them all truth and its shown your mind is very clear about things, but its very bad that her family support her in wrong thing.
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Last 7 Posts of this Board
RE:Mother In law controls money matters
Hello dear this is really sad to see that you are facing so many difficulties but then this is life and i think you should accept the fact and start preparing for yourself and start directing to yourself to be strong
enough to handle all the problems.... - Anita [View Message]
RE:Mother In law controls money matters
Oh dear what is going on and why are you not informing to your parents about the same as they can surely help you in this matter and can guide you properly that what can be done in this matter as well,please according to me you should speak to your parents right away.... - Anaida [View Message]
RE:Mother In law controls money matters
Oh dear this is really sad to see but then why are you not speaking up the same with your mother in law as she can might open up with you can tell you what is the exact problem and might then you both can remove some solutions about the same. All the best dear.... - Anu [View Message]
RE:Mother In law controls money matters
Oh my dear this is not going proper and i can see fishy things happening please be very clear with your husband as i feel that he is doing the same purposely and you are been cheated, please be very serious about this and you will come to know about the truth.... - Anushree [View Message]
RE:Mother In law controls money matters
Hey dear please be calm and relax and start investing money in mutual funds and you can also start with 500/- per month please start doing the same as you will get good benefits after some point of time, please take this seriously and you will get benefits for sure.... - Suman [View Message]
RE:Mother In law controls money matters
I think you should not worry at all and you everything will be fine, please do not worry dear as god is great and god will surely help you and bring you out from this problem for sure just be positive and have patience and you will get the due what you are looking for.... - Sujata [View Message]
RE:Mother In law controls money matters
Hey dear this is not a big issue and i think you should sit with your husband and make him understand the need for the home and explain him what had happen should not repeat with you guys and i think he will understand the same and will get the results.... - Shikha [View Message]