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Behavioural Problems:PSYCHOLOGICAL TESTING AND COUNSELLING
2005-08-13
Name: sybil mascarenhas Iam a psychologist specialised in child counselling and IQ testing.I deal with all behavioural related (hyperactivity, aggressive behavior, attentional, academic)problems of children and youth. In addition to child related issues, I also practise family counselling and therapy.
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2008-01-18
#1
Name: rs
Subject:  pls suggest sybil mascarenhas-OCD problem
Hi
I have a 3yr old daughter.Oflate she has a strange behavior.
1.)repetitive behavior-insisting that things are done theway she wants them to be done – such as if she doesnt want food I shoulnt ask her.and suppose if I ask her she would ask me to keep it back & then bring it back and again keep it back and again bing it back and this would happen for atleast 15 times.

2.)she is always irritated and cranky she doesnt like us smiling or saying anything to her at all.And if we tell her to do a particular thing she would again start the pepetitive behavior.

3.)she sometimes talks to herself.

4.)earlier she used to do this with us only now she has started with other(our friends) also.

5)very stubborn behavior

we showed her to a doctor and he suggested that sometimes OCD comes after a viral and it could be STREP Infection.But that came out negative too.
So we showed her to a neurologist and he did a EEG test.But that also came out good.
Now her pediatrition suggests that the viral that she had long back could have caused some inflamation of the brain muscles.and it will goon its own.

I just want a second opinion on this as what you think it is ?Is it a medical problem or a behavior related. is there a cure.
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2007-05-04
#2
Name: vidya
Subject:  pls help
hi, my daughter will turn 6 in june. she stopped wetting her clothes from the age of 2. but she has a bad habit. she tries to avoid going to the toilet. controls her urine as much as possible. of late, for the past 15 days, we find that she wets her dress everyday. when we asked, she said that her teacher doesn' t let her go to the toilet. when we checked with the teacher, we found that she refuses to go the toilet. sometimes, she wets herself in the evening when she is playing in the play ground. pls help.
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2006-12-06
#3
Name: Yoganandan
Subject:  PSYCHOLOGICAL TESTING AND COUNSELLING
Pls mail me where are u staying. I have a very urgent burning problem.
My phone no. is 044-26502904
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2006-08-11
#4
Name: PM
Subject:  Angry parent
I am a mother of a 5 year old girl, She goes to a good school. So far I am very happy abt the school. The teachers complain that she doesn't listen in the school, when they are teaching she looks least interested. She can answer all the questions and can do all the work sheets but handwriting is not what other kids achieve. Basically she doesn't stay still and doesn't look as if she is concentrating.

On the other hand my friends and parents of her friends think that she is brilliant. She can fluently read and write English, though she doesn't write neatly. She is very fond of books and computers but not TV. She watches and program and even manages to learn the jingle. She can identify flags of various countries. She can identify all vegetables, fruits, colours, etc etc but the teachers say that she needs to learn to write in a 4 line notebook first. Also she can swim like a fish.

My problem is that I am though both of us are working and do not believe in pushing her for anything. We do not sit with her for very long with the homework but we do a lot of pillow fights, swims, walks, jumping on the beds and things like that.

I do not know how to handle the situation. My husband thinks that the school doesnot have parameters to judge the child's capabilities.

Please advise.
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2006-01-12
#5
Name: arun
Subject:  help
Hi Sybil
i have a son of 8 yrs,very affectionate,intelligent and obiedient. i am away from my family for the past one year as i am transferred to other place.we have a 5 month old child also. for the past one year my son has become very aggressive and not concentrating on his studies. he is very restless and dosent really listen to his mother.he has every thing at home to play and enjoy.its difficult to control him some times. kndly help us.
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2005-11-29
#6
Name: M
Subject:  regarding my daughter's growth
Hi,
My daughter is 28months old. she use to scribble with pen,pencil,crayons and colour pens since one year. Now she draws a triangle and she is able to identify shapes and tells the respective nameslike circle, square, rectangle, heart, crescent and diamond. She can also tell 1 to 10 and alphabets. I feel she is learning more than her age. is it good or bad? becoz i am staying in UK. Here health visitor said that she would become bored soon and she wont do such things when she has to do.is it right? she started telling alphabets when she was 18months old. If i take her to mother and toddler groups she feels bored there. I couldnt get admission in nursery as she is too young to put in school. What should i do? She sleeps 3hrs in afternoon and 10hrs in night. is it good for her health? Please advice me.

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2005-10-11
#7
Name: innerself
Subject:  hi wud like to meet u
hi just goin thru this forum..
me a mother of 2 beautiful angels.wud like yr help.do u suggest i write or meet u in person .plz reply.
thks n rgds
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2005-09-30
#8
Name: Sri Vas
Subject:  School Behaviour
My kids age 7, he is not following directions in the
school. He read very well, writes very well and
play with kids good. But always i keep getting
complaints from school saying he is running in the
hallway, touching the walls, pushing other kids once in a while,
stepping on other kids foot.

I am not able to understand whats going on with him. I am keep
trying different methods on him to
make him understand, take away game boy, reduced the tv time and
play time. And explained to him if
he is following directions in the school i will give him more
fun toys and buy new stuff like that
but still seeing the complaints. This is the story from last 2
years. I tried with pediatrician, he says its normal behavior
with kids doing naughty
things like this.

Can you help me, how i can be successfull in making him
understand follow the rules in the school or every where we go
out.

Inside the house if you tell him harder he listens. But once we
are out of the house he tries
to take control and he won't listens to me. After tell very hard
he will listen for a while. He gets very exited when he is out
of the house. We are in america, its very difficult to control
the kid outside the house. They may treat as child abuse .

Help to get out of this situation. School people
keep bothering me by saying take him to doctor and check his
impulsiveness and all kind of things, and also they recommended
me to use aderal and some other medications. I don't agree with
them.

He is very good at reading and remembering things, he do his
home work with less attention or explanation.

I had tried rewarding when he is good at school or at home, took him to the parks and all fun places on weekly basis. Still having same issue.

Thanks & Regards
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2005-09-26
#9
Name: ra
Subject:  reg my son


I am writing to you for my 3-year old son Master Arora for his speech delay. We have consulted speech therapist and Pedatrician regarding his speech delay and his speech therapy is going on for the last 2 months. I would like to inform you that due to my job, we stayed in south india and my son did not get adequate oppurtunities for social interaction and for playing with children of his age due to language problem.

My son is completing 3-years this month and he is having about 45-words vocablury at present. He ask for food and water by speaking \";dudu\"; and \";mum\"; and also points towards the desired item. He tries to sing along when he listens to nursery rhymes. He also wave hands for bye bye and do namaste. For the last 40 day, he is going to play group and enjoy going to school. His attention span is short but we are working to increase it by doing activities suggested by the speech therapist and he is responding to it. He has learns body parts thru rhymes- fruit-animals-birds names through picture books. He enjoys watching animated videos, rhymes and cartoons. He loves to go out and play with children of his age. But he does not know how to play with other children and how to communicate. He hugs children. He follows most of our instructions but sometimes he acts like a deaf. When asked about body parts, he responds. when we ask him about things like where is tv, he points towards tv. he understands what has been said. Our main concern is his speech delay and social skills. He imitates words what has been told to him. He also imitate actions. During nusery rhymes, he does immitate actions perfectly. Whenever we go out and he see cow - he speaks \";cow\"; and also points towards the cow. the same with bus - he speaks \";bus\"; and points towards \";bus\";.

Somebody told us it may be autism. We are quite worried about our son. Based upon the above information, plesae tell me about my son.

regards

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2005-09-24
#10
Name: jaya
Subject:  Abacus training
Hi Sybil,

I'm jaya again. My son is 5 years old
and knows only numbers. Is it good
to send him for Abacus training?
I don't mind if it doesn't anything
good to him, but I'm more worried that
it should not do any harm or interefere
in his school's method of teaching
arithmetics.

Can you please advise?
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2005-09-14
#11
Name: Alice
Subject:  Behavioral problems
Hi, my daughter is 5 years old. Offlate since past 2 months we are having terrible problems due to her severe mood swings. During the past 6 months we underwent major changes in our living like we moved to a smaller apartment and all our things were sent back to India and we started all over again. However we have again purchased her the best of best things. As such We are really worried what goes wrong with her all of a sudden she becomes very boisterous, starts crying and screaming for no reasons (specially when she returns from school she insists she should change first and only then I or my husband should, somedays by mistake we change thats it, the whole roof comes down or whenever we want to go out, she starts crying saying no good dresses are with her though she has the best. She compares herself with me and though I dress simply she feels I like to dress nicely whereas she doesnt have anything to wear) and at that moment I get shocked to hear her talk cause she talks like an adult. We are just 3 of us (me, my husband & daughter) and one major drawback in my family is me & my husband dont get along much and have heated arguements in front of her since her childhood and I feel it has had adverse effects on her. My husband is so short tempered that he doesnt know what he speaks or does while angry. I am really worried. Please help me. I have even stopped working during the afternoon hours so that I spend time with her. What could be her problem. We make sure we give her the best and all the attention.
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2005-09-03
#12
Name: sathya
Subject:  Require advice
dear sybil,
i took my son to a speech therapist & she said that he would pick up & she said that we have to speak in whatever languages we know. it is not neccessary that all of us speak in english only. she advised us to bombard him with diff languages so that he would have the option to select the easy words from diff languages. but in this website i have seen most of the mothers advicing that we stick to one language. what is ur advice? my son has joined playgroup & he is very happy to play with friends. pls advice
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2005-08-31
#13
Name: JAYA
Subject:  thanks
thanks for your advice.

I daily take him to park for playing.
He is generally not shy with others. He plays very happily with his friends and in fact he is very dominating with his friends. Only in his school and with the teachers, he is shy and he doesn't open up. His school is considered to be the best school in our city and KG teachers are all montessori trained. They are not supposed to scold the children and all.

So, thats it.
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2005-08-22
#14
Name: mascarenhas
Subject:  all the best
hi Jaya,
sometimes children are shy and do not interact with their teachers in school. if he is writing slowly that means he needs attention. he needs a lot of practise of colouring, scribbling. you could start with buying some coloring books and keeping them around. use crayons which are thick in circumference. if you can get pencils of similar kind it would help. does the school have a counsellor. if there is one then check whether she practises play therapy. once the child opens up with the counsellor the transfer of learning is faster to all teachers in class. you would need to spend at least an hour with your child everyday to help him.
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2005-08-23
#15
Name: JAYA
Subject:  thanks
Hi Sybil,

thanks for your reply. I checked up
with my son's school and they don't have any councellor there.

Can you suggest me something which I can do to make him open up and remove his shyness

Jaya


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2005-08-22
#16
Name: mascarenhas
Subject:  all the best
hi Jaya,
sometimes children are shy and do not interact with their teachers in school. if he is writing slowly that means he needs attention. he needs a lot of practise of colouring, scribbling. you could start with buying some coloring books and keeping them around. use crayons which are thick in circumference. if you can get pencils of similar kind it would help. does the school have a counsellor. if there is one then check whether she practises play therapy. once the child opens up with the counsellor the transfer of learning is faster to all teachers in class. you would need to spend at least an hour with your child everyday to help him.
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2005-08-22
#17
Name: jaya
Subject:  slow in school
Dear Sybil,

My son is going to be 5 years, in upper KG and young for the class by 3 months. he is very very slow in his writing, colouring, painting etc. I always get complaints from his teachers that he is doing everything slow. He is very scared of his school and teachers too I think. He never opens up before them. But at home, it is very difficult to make him stop talking. Because I am a working mother, I had to put him in creche/playhome from the time he was one and half years and I do not know whehther because of that he has got this fear of teachers/school. Otherwise, he is very brilliant, has very good grasping power, very good observation skill etc.
I really want my son to overcome the problem of his slowness and fear of school. But I don't want to stress him too much also. Any suggestions please?
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2005-08-23
#18
Name: mascarenhas
Subject:  all the best
Jaya,
the only thing you could do would be to enroll him in an activity class where in the ratio of students per teacher is 1:5. that would be ideal. take him out for walks, parks, etc. The problem of shyness is not present when it comes to you or your family members. its present only in school where he does not see familiar faces. A school Counsellor would have been the best help as non directive Play therapy would have helped in unlocking the child's potential in a safe environment. As a parent you really cant play two different roles that of a school teacher and a parent. i would suggest you to either approach the teacher and ask her/him to probably not ridicule or punish the child infront of the whole class. reinforce the child's utterances even if wrong. Wrong replies need to be accepted and attempts need to be made to tie it in a way to the question asked. you need to avoid pushing your child to interact with his teachers. dont make your child to perform in front of others. if there's a class for elocution ask your child if he would like to take part in it. never force your child and respect his answers.
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2005-08-19
#19
Name: sathya
Subject:  RE
Thanks sybil for replying.
About the milestones my son started walking at 14months, crawling on his knees at 8months,babbling at 7 months. only when he wants things he makes eye contact. otherwise if iam teaching or trying to tell him sumthing he does not make eye contact. yes, he responds to his name consistently.he sleeps for min 9 to 10 hours in the night & may be 1 hour in the afternoon. no, he doesnt repeat what we say. there were no complications during or after pregnancy except for low fever once during the second trimester,birth cry was normal. his teeth grinding is usually if he has a glass of orange juice or if he is feeling very sleepy morning & night, & when we r travelling by car when he starts feeling sleepy. its not everyday but sumtimes. he is not fussy about clothing & very fussy about eating. it takes nearly 1 hour for me to feed him food he runs around everywhere while eating. he is cheerful most of the time except for if he is feeling hungry or sleepy. we got his hearing chkd up , its normal.
sybil, he spends quite a lot of time seeing videos. he is interested in tv than me storytelling. pls pls advice.
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2005-08-23
#20
Name: satya
Subject:  thanks sybil for the advice
hi sybil,
first of all thank u very much. iam making my son see tv only for 1 hour in a day. he is ok with that. the main issue is he is not interested in colouring or building blocks. he plays for sumtime & then throws them. my main area of concern is his speech. pls advice what i can do to speed up his talking. will speech therapy help him. can u pls tell me wht do they do in speech therapy. should i put him to a speech therapy schhol where there r lots of children or where he is 1 to 1 with the speech therapist. should i put him in a playschool which has less children or more. pls advice. iam worried abt his speech
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