Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Hi all
I need advice from all of you for my day to day problems with my kids who are 13 n 10.They listen to the RAP ,which they got it from their school friends. They dont believe in GOD ,they are ignoring our customs and feel its a myth. We take them to poojas and social gatherings too. They are on their own ,is this going to spoil their future. I am so worried and i was embarrassed when one of my friend told me not to send to a sleep -over to her class mates house who is an American stating that crime rate is more here n not to encourage.
This friend of mine is just friend from 5 months.She seems to be really good but she always complains about my kids ,when ever sheis with us ,yes i do agree my kids are sometimes not polite ,in the sense they backanswer to me when they r here ,my daughter donot want to play with hers where she is 1yr younger to her. I told my daughter to be friendly with her ,but when they or talk my daughter was discussing about some physical changes in girls. My friend came the other day ,she told your daughter had this kind of conversation with my kid ,which i didnt like my kid is not aware of all this.
My son plays with her son who is just 2nd grader and teases when they paly ,cause that kid is too small and makes fun also .
Do you think i should take it seriously and punish them and not making them hear RAP and move along with local kids . However we are here for short period , but this impact seems to be big . PLS pls ...............I request you all experienced moms and dads to give some suggestions and throw light on this and educate me. I feel so embarrassed when I hear complaints like this ,i also have hard times at home with my kids and also my husband ,where he is really liberal,and wont discipline the kids .Now iam afraid of these comlaints and really so upset cause I have no right in this house as to show my domination.I curse myself for not being able to control.
Pls .........advice
thanks Nesa Wilson replied. Hi Priya,
I am guessing you are living in US currently. Life style is different here and younger generation easily adapt to it.
With regards to music styles, they change from time to time. There is nothing wrong in listening to Rap provided the contents are not Xrated or not age appropriate.
With regards to religion, just do what you do and involve them in whatever you are doing. But do not force it upon them....force will push them further away.
Opinions on sleepover vary. But the chances of physical, sexual abuses at sleepovers are higher. If you are uncomfortable with sleepovers, you can tell your kids that it is your family rule....\" No sleepovers\" ....it might cause friction between you and your kids, but you are the boss of the house and rules are made in the best interest of the family and need to be followed.
As to your child discussing physical changes with another kid, it is normal and that is okay. But if your friend thinks it is not, ask your child not to discuss such things with the other kid. Times have changed. Kids these days mature at a different phase mentally, emotionally and physically.
As far as your kids talking back to you, it is more often than not, common among preteens and teens. Kids at this age go through so many hormonal changes and add to it the change in modern living, it becomes a nightmare. Try to be more understanding, patient and diplomatic with them even though it might be easily said than done.
There' s no need to curse yourself or underestimating yourself. Hopefully, perservance and being tactful will pay off in the long run.