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Occassions:Need Some Advice
2010-04-06
Name: Sandy Hyatt Hi all!

I have been just a lurker for a a few weeks now, but I see everyone is very supportive. So I guess I am reaching out for that now. This is a long story, so I will try to make it as short as possible.....

I am 18 weeks pregnant and my BF is a graduate student at a local university. He is from India here on a student VISA. I was told, every year at my annual appointment, that pregnancy was not possible for me. I was even on birth control to regulate my periods. We always used other protection as well. Imagine my surprise, a happy surprise, when the pregnancy test said YES. He was in India visiting his mother, so I had to tell him over the phone, but he was so excited. He didn' t tell his mother at that time, because he wasn' t sure how.

When he returned, all he could talk about was the baby. And he even talked about us being a family. He wanted to get married and made things sound like they will be ok. Then two weeks ago he finally told his mother and sister. They have made this a living hell.....he has now changed his mind. He doesn' t want to get married, will get to know this child as long as he remains in school and then after that he wants to let the chips fall where they may. His mother even told him to return to India and forget about me and the baby.

I am so devistated.....he doesn' t even talk to me anymore. If he wants to talk he calls one of them. I am so confused....what happened to the man that wanted to be a family and stay here and visit India on summer vacation???

I can only cry......and worry. There is a possibility that he will not even be here for the baby' s birth because he may be done with school in May. What do I do? He still wants to be invovled with doctor' s appointments, still wants to be in a relationship with me, but I know in the back of my mind everything could fall apart in a month.


Do I need to move on and figure I will be doing everything myself? Do I need to be happy in the moment and then \" let the chips fall where they may\" ? This baby is so wanted and I know all the worry, stress and carrying is not good for him.........

Any advice would be great!

Thanks!


Sandy

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2010-04-08
#1
Name: Niraj
Subject:  Some advise
Hi Sandy,

I am sorry for the situation you are in.
I was just doing some random pregnancy related surfing and read your post. I' ve have registered with this website only to post this reply.

There are so many things I would like to say but I just don' t know how to put it.

I' ve recently seen my baby' s picture through ultra sound and I don' t know how to express my joy and hapiness. That' s why I have very strong feelings towards your situation.

So my advise to you is this:
Do you love him? if yes then give it a fight. Married or not married, he is your man. Try and win him over.

Emotionally
-Take him to the gynac with you show him the ultra sound pictures of your baby.

-Put on some emotional seductions skills, just the same ones his mother has used, to tugged at him.

-Create peer pressure, find out who in his social circle / group holds credibility, approach that person to seek help.

Let him know, even if you could, that you and the baby can' t do with out him.

logically
Go after his concious. I am not sure what religion he follows.

If possible try and consult a relationship councelor. Go alone first, team up with the consultant, then take your BF.

Lastly, this is what my personal views are: Your BF has a
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2010-04-08
#2
Name: Niraj
Subject:  need some advise
The whole message was not postes so here it is again.

Hi Sandy,

I am sorry for the situation you are in.
I was just doing some random pregnancy related surfing and read your post. I´ ve have registered with this website only to post this reply.

There are so many things I would like to say but I just don´ t know how to put it.

I´ ve recently seen my baby´ s picture through ultra sound and I don´ t know how to express my joy and hapiness. That´ s why I have very strong feelings towards your situation.

So my advise to you is this:
Do you love him? if yes then give it a fight. Married or not married, he is your man. Try and win him over.

Emotionally
-Take him to the gynac with you show him the ultra sound pictures of your baby.

-Put on some emotional seductions skills, just the same ones his mother has used, to tugged at him.

-Create peer pressure, find out who in his social circle / group holds credibility, approach that person to seek help.

Let him know, even if you could, that you and the baby can´ t do with out him.

logically
Go after his concious. I am not sure what religion he follows.

If possible try and consult a relationship councelor. Go alone first, team up with the consultant, then take your BF.

Lastly, this is what my personal views are: Your BF has a duty to ensure the well being, safety and hapiness of your child and yourself. Turning away from this, he will never have true peace with in his heart because whoever else he marries or starts a family with, if knew about this will not give him any respect. Without discriminating race / social class and geographic location I am sure your BF would not have liked to be treated in the same way from his own father.

If nothing works I assure you in the longrun you´ re better off without him.
I know life may be a little tougher, but there are still many more nice men out there.

Responsibility brings progress and leads to prosperity and hapiness.

I know things will work out anyways for you.

-Niraj
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2010-04-08
#3
Name: Niraj
Subject:  Some advise
Hi Sandy,

I am sorry for the situation you are in.
I was just doing some random pregnancy related surfing and read your post. I' ve have registered with this website only to post this reply.

There are so many things I would like to say but I just don' t know how to put it.

I' ve recently seen my baby' s picture through ultra sound and I don' t know how to express my joy and hapiness. That' s why I have very strong feelings towards your situation.

So my advise to you is this:
Do you love him? if yes then give it a fight. Married or not married, he is your man. Try and win him over.

Emotionally
-Take him to the gynac with you show him the ultra sound pictures of your baby.

-Put on some emotional seductions skills, just the same ones his mother has used, to tugged at him.

-Create peer pressure, find out who in his social circle / group holds credibility, approach that person to seek help.

Let him know, even if you could, that you and the baby can' t do with out him.

logically
Go after his concious. I am not sure what religion he follows.

If possible try and consult a relationship councelor. Go alone first, team up with the consultant, then take your BF.

Lastly, this is what my personal views are: Your BF has a
Reply to Original MessageReply to Original Message   Reply to Original Message Reply to This Message   Msg Objection   Go to Top

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