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Joint Family:Devrani Jethani relations...MIL discrimination
2007-05-01
Name: working_mom Hi Friends,

Just wondering how you ladies have handled ur relations with your devrani. am living in joint family and really passing through a tough time at home.

My home has converted to a place of high politcs since the day my SIL has come. These are two brothers.

I really did my best to maintain gud terms with her since her arrival to family but she didn' t show any interest in me or DH. She will behave okay types before inlaws and since 3 months doing lot of buttering of MIL but not great work actually. She boost alot. Sleeps for 3 hours daily and still she is a favourite of my MIL. I come to office, do many other things in the morning except breakfast and upon reaching back without a break i start cooking the compelte dinner myself. Take care of my kiddo, DH. I feel dead tired end of the day (( still my MIL changed and doesn' t say any word. To the extent that even if am ill i have to cook dinner and if she has slightest problem like headache she will be in her room all the time and MIL will cook on her behalf in morning but MIL doesn' t comes for any help to me nor she even ask...anything as courtesy...

Devrani just concentrates on inlaws and is too curt and rude to us in their absence. I never felt so alone as living stranger within the family. They had love marriage mine is arranged..

Somehow for last few months the picture of my family totally changed. MY SIL BIL seems to be knowing everyting abt inlaws and inlaws abt them and we stood separate as we are paying guests...

MY MIL completely supports my devrani though i do equal work at home even after coming from office.

Few says devrani jethani relation never work except if they live separately...pls share ur suggestions and guidance.

Even all this home politcs done by my SIL has started effecting my relationship with DH...he says he can' t so much abt it

Take care,
working mom

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2016-09-10
#1
Name: Mughada
Subject:  RE:Devrani Jethani relations...MIL discrimination
First of all! You stop comparing yourself with you BIL. That how much work she is doing and how much time she is sleeping, what she is cooking in kitchen and why MIL giving time to her, loves her most and all! You don't look over such things! U said you are working, right!? So concentrate on your work and on your children's and husband. Don't expect anything from any one. As you're working lady you are pretty independent one..then why such kind of thoughts are running in your mind! I understated that sometimes it's hard to digest all such things but you have to make sure that your children's are also watching you. They are noticing you and when you will be strong and smiling all the time so they will also learn good things from you! Try to come close to your SIL, she will shout on you, might she will use bad bitter words but she will later realise that you at least love her also ! Yeah you MIL loves you SIL because she is part of your BIL life! Try to make happy everyone! It's all for just some more years later on everything will change because we will all grow old and that time you will need one friend in your life and I'm pretty sure that your sister in law will be your best friend. God bless you!
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2016-07-08
#2
Name: Naina
Subject:  RE:Devrani Jethani relations...MIL discrimination
Hi Lady,
When we are being some kind of situation there must be some one who will support us and give us motivated words to move forward.
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2016-07-01
#3
Name: Aanya
Subject:  RE:Devrani Jethani relations...MIL discrimination
Hi Mothers,
Such relations would be common and are there from our fore fathers.So you have to do your work and mother in law will be like that only you have to some how adjust.
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2016-06-22
#4
Name: Leela
Subject:  RE:Devrani Jethani relations...MIL discrimination
Hi Mother,
As far as your husband be with you no need to get worry and you have to bear all these in your joint family when time come your mother in law will be with you only.
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2016-06-16
#5
Name: Bavi
Subject:  RE:Devrani Jethani relations...MIL discrimination
Hi Mother,
Any thing would be only few days either happiness or sorrow.But you do not change your behavior be constant at every time.It will help you in future.
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2016-06-09
#6
Name: Myntra
Subject:  RE:Devrani Jethani relations...MIL discrimination
Hi Lady,
To maintain such relations it is possible only from both the people.If they understand each other then only that family will be nice.It would lead to only happiness in that family.
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2016-06-02
#7
Name: Charmi
Subject:  RE:Devrani Jethani relations...MIL discrimination
Hi mother,
In laws will get attracted to daughter in laws when they bring things from their home which they want.That is the major reason for ladies who belongs to your in law type.But your husband is with you do not get worried.
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2016-05-27
#8
Name: Meera
Subject:  RE:Devrani Jethani relations...MIL discrimination
Hi Mother,
Can you say what you have done to solve the issue also can you share it because many people will do face the same problem also and they too will solve the same issue also and i wish you would do the same.
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2016-05-17
#9
Name: Laksha
Subject:  RE:Devrani Jethani relations...MIL discrimination
Hi lady,
So then how did you solved your problem can you share that be cause from the solution you have take may give idea for the other people who do have the same problem also.I wish you would share that.
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2016-05-17
#10
Name: fatima
Subject:  RE:Devrani Jethani relations...MIL discrimination
Hi Woman,
I can understand your problem as a lady but you have sort it out on your own and make them understand how much you are suffering also and it must be clearly known to your husband also then only you will have some peace.
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2016-05-17
#11
Name: Megha
Subject:  RE:Devrani Jethani relations...MIL discrimination
Hi Lady,
so can you say what was the solution you had preferred to solve your problem because it is the common problem faced by many people and you need to pull out some solution to solve it also and i wish you would do that.
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2016-05-15
#12
Name: Kali
Subject:  RE:Devrani Jethani relations...MIL discrimination
Hi Working mom,
I can understand your problem but the thing is your mother in law must identify all these and you do not think that you were alone and it would be better that your husband supports you and you can be happy always.
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2016-05-12
#13
Name: Jack
Subject:  RE:Devrani Jethani relations...MIL discrimination
Hello Lady,
You just see that your mother in law and your husband is good to you or not then only you will not face any problems and they will be with you always so it would be better you do that and be calm as usual.
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2016-05-10
#14
Name: Kaira
Subject:  RE:Devrani Jethani relations...MIL discrimination
Hello Person,
Such relations are not good and it will put many people life in to risk and you will pay more for this and you need to be so careful because women life will be in to risk and will face many problems in their life only.
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2007-05-06
#15
Name: Prema
Subject:  Dont Worry
I can understand what you r going thru. But remember, if your intentions have always been good towards your inlaws, nobody can affect your relations with them . Over a long term, you will see that your MIL will know ur value, and in her mind she must be already valuing you more than the new SIL. But sometimes mil are scared to express this opinion due to fear of offending the new SIL or her husband. Your SIL must be a very dominating nature and she must be brain hammering your MIL , with her ideas. But you dont worry about all these things, they will all fall in line on their own.You continue your way, be just, do your share of work and dont try to overdo anything just to please others. Take good care of your child and husband, give them more time, divide work between other members of the house.Afterall u r working .Be confident and show it to others. Do not become hurt by SILs curt behaviour, it would be best to ignore her.And dont complain to your husband, always show him how much you care. Let him judge for himself.I am sure that your sils true self cannot hide ofr a long time , and your MIL will be closer to you again.Have Patience.
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2007-05-01
#16
Name: mridula
Subject:  hi
hi working mom,
though i dont have a devrani yet, i can understand how n why ur mil n devrani has formed a team against you.men in family are usually ignorant abt the various changes occuring at emotinal level in the family.u must be feeling rejected n lonely for no fault of yours.most mils become insecure if there are more than one dil in the house.mil are afraid that all her dils will team up against her so mil will always try not to let the dils bond well.remembered the policy - divide n rule ? in ur case, perhaps ur devrani has the intention of grabbing the fav dil position so as to make her stand strong in the new family.may be she desires to run the home show herself in the next couple of years.if u n hubby r finacially well, plz go n stay seperately. waiting for mil-devrani to change their attitude might takes months or years or worst case they may choose to remain like this forever.u may choose to wait for a couple of months more to see the reaction of other family members.Its very partial that mil is always at devrani' s assistance where as u toil away endlessly but u cant demand mil to do the same to u.
gather support from ur husband. let him know without fighting what all is happening in the house.
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