Relationships  Discussion Forum

How do you handle annoying inlaws? We do not stay with them, but they have to keep interfering in our lives, calling often and need financial help often too. We are just starting our lives and have our own issues, and on top of that support them too. We are not made of money.
I just can not handle them and get very stressed out. On top of all this I have 2 sister in laws who are mean. They talk to my hubby all the time and ignore me and treat me like an outsider. I am the only child, so do not understand the concept of sister/brother relationship.
Marriages are hard, how do people manage all this? There is no way on this earth am I going to live with anyone.Wish my hubby could understand that. hh replied. Hi SN,

when i was reading ur post... i was wondering .... is this post by any chnac written by me and may be than i have forgotten... hahaha ... actually i m also in a sameeeeeee situation...

1) my hubby too is only son
2) I too have 2 married mean sil....
3) Sil always talking to my hubby and ignoring me
4) In laws asking for money..... they have told my hubby to pay lum-sum amount every month (actually taking it as a RENT!!!! from us) imagine we are paying rent for staying in our parents house ...staying upsatirs....

i am married from 3 yrs now and have one baby also....
earlier, these problems use to bother me soo much that i keep arguing with my hubby and sometimes fights become so big that i go back to my mom' s place... than my parents use to pacify me.. andthan after 10-15 days i come back to my hubby...

now how i m handling the situation

ans for prob (1) see if we think logical and on humanatiarian ground .... our hubby is parents only son... so he is only responsible fortaking care of them..... yaar they have given 30 yrs of there life in growing up and eduation... so they have 30-40% right on his son' s life..... leave it na... don' t take tension... let ur hubby handle his parents... you just keep urself busy in some other things... and yes tell ur hubby don' t discuss any thing related to YOU with them otherwise you will get offended if you get to know something from their parents mouth (which you have told them)... try to work out like this!!

(2) i m also handling 2 mean SIL' s.... ha haha i don' t talk to them at all and don' t bother if they are talking or not talking to me.... and yes i have already told them in these 3 yrs what are their limits... so either by hook or crook or by direct fights you have to make them understands that u are just my hubby' s sis bus nothing more for me.... don' t be bothered if they are not friendly with you..... world is so big make other frd.... forget it they will ever be TRUE frds with u... se they being each other with 20-25 yrs so they are quite comfortable ineach others company..... if you really want to make them ur frds... than my dear u have waste ur 5-6 years in being polite with them and jheloo all their tana' s and after that if any miracle happens than only they will start thinking little postive abt you.....

3) don' t worry na if SIL' s talking to ur hubby and ignoring you.... waisay it shd be like u ignore them... mainay aisaa hi kiya... now i ignore them... even in parties also... i completly busy in my child ... if you dont have child than make a point to hubby before going in a party that see ur parents and sis are more FRDLY with u and i m new in your family so u are only my company otherwise i will get bored .... so if you promise me to be with me in party than only i will come.... try to mould him in positive manner...

4)see abt money yaar we can' t do any thing.... and waisy bhi sochay toh it' s there right... but shd be in limits bec we have to think abt our future.... in my case my MIL asked my hubby to pay one fixed amount every month... i think this is also not a bad idea... bec than u know how much you are giving... and i told my hubby since we dont have a govt job so we haveto save money even if when we are not working ... for child education and other things.... if your hubby is not paying one fixed amount toh encourage him to pay in one fixed amount monthly (that way he thinks u too thinks abt his parents... tell him if he is not paying monthly amount to keep the track for 3-4 months as what is he paying to his parents than accordingly fix a monthly amount... tell him that way u will also be mentally preparedthat u have to pay this much amonut to ur parents... or ask ur oarents how much they need/ u can afford to live a decent life)... yaar parents hai rastay par toh nahi la saktay na unhay.... u know my FIL gets pension.. my mil too have some income .. still ask money frm my hubby... u know why.... to give gifts to SIL' s... kaya karay some tms just ignore is the best policy.... and she till date never purchased any single thing for my son.. and give hell lot of gifts to sil' s son who is of my son' s age.....

yaar all these are practical problems.. we have to facethem... still sometimes i have afights with my hubby related to above mentioned problems... par kaya karay we have to adjust to live a peacful life....
in my case u know i had a fights with sil when we had like hathapaii kind of... and till date she cry' s bhabhi nay mara... let it be like this... atleast now she knows na whats her limit... SIL toh aisay hi nanti hai... complete haak samjhtii hai... apnay maykay par.. we have to draw a line yaar... some ppl aare ltoo kay bhoot ... batoo say nahi mantay... and for in laws... yaar they are our responsiblity... jitna bhi boora chalay ignore them... we have to face god yaar some day... so we can' t disrespect our elders.... is not able to migle with them just maintain a distance and do ur farzzz!! ok

bye

plzz tell me ur views on this... may be i m wrong somewher.. than u tell me how u are handling the situations.. so that i too get some tips... bec i feel both are having same kinda situation

ur frd
hh


help replied. hi,
same story woth everybody ......so dont worry mainly everywomen is sailing in the same boat.

some questions.
1.is ur husband is the only son of his parents?
2.is ur inlaws are retired orstill working(i think retired thats why ask for financial HELP)
3.where u stay ?are u also working?
kindly answer these ....
bye