Parents of Teens  Discussion Forum

Hi,
Honestly, I was afraid of putting my fears to public about the conflict that is brewing between my husband and y son (14, 9th std.) with regard to the career choice he should be making in class 11th and later for college! My son is little above average student and does complacently good in his UTs and SAs. However, my husband is from the engineering background, running his own company, needless to say with a dream of our son joining him in near future by graduating with a similar engineering degree!!
The problem is that as of now (and I seriously mean AS OF NOW) my son is not too inclined towards becoming an engineer. It’s not that he does not like science as a subject, but he does not wish to be forced to take up science in his class 11, or to put it more simply, he has different dreams for his career!. Anytime the issue related to his career comes up at home, the atmosphere gets tensed and the home seems filled with negative energy, due to the conflict of interests between father and son. I am trying my best to be neutral through this query today, as to I earnestly request you to kindly help me find a way to calm both of them.
1. How can I make my husband understand that it’s our duty to guide and help our child find the right career choice, but we must not force him to pursue the dreams that we were unable to fulfil for ourselves! That we must try to understand the dreams of our child as well?
2. How can I make my son understand that we as parents are concerned for your career choices so that you do not land up being clueless in this BIG BAD world? That he may have different career choice, but his father also stands correct if he wishes you to follow in his footsteps?
Neeta replied. Every family goes through this when it comes to choosing a career for the kid. Everyone has their own opinions about all the subjects and careers and they want the child to do that and often parents think that the child does not know anything. NN replied. I think you should leave the choice and all the decisions about it to him as he is the one who will have to tolerate it for the rest of his life and you would not want it to go wrong because of you. Geeta replied. See conflicts are natural when it comes to a father and son. If they don't fight that is too unnatural. Let him pass his 10th and let the result come and then have this conversation and see what your son has to say. Myntra replied. Hello Simmi,
So it is a fight between the father and the son and you need not be supportive you just explain to your husband so that you both need to give support and set the career to the child to set the bright future for his career. Kittu replied. Hello Simmi,
It is the parents responsibility to take care of their child it is the duty of father to look after the child and make him to do things which is good or bad to him and mother need to take care of him also.Father must guide the child in all aspects. gaurang mishra replied. Cant you postpone the talks about career and your son's career choice until he really has to do it - 2 years later? Callthem both and tell them that there should be no further discussion about this until 2 years and when the time comes let each present his view point and then dicsuss and come to a conclusion.