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Occassions:Appreciating Fathers
2007-06-11
Name: Editor What do you think about the role of fathers in our lives? Do you wish to share experiences you had with your father? Are you a father who would like to share his experiences of fatherhood?
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2007-06-18
#1
Name: virgo
Subject:  What about bad fathers?
Our fathers (and mothers) are in a major way responsible for what we grow up to become. This is the reason we express gratitude to them.

What about bad fathers who neglected or abused their children.

If this adverse form of fathering plays a positive role in a person' s life by forcing him to cultivate strength, resilience and discrimination, should he be grateful to his father?

What if such a father drives a person to grow up with all the wrong values? Is the person responsible, when it is his father who had a role to play in this? Any thoughts?
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2007-06-15
#2
Name: nidhi
Subject:  a father is special
hi, a father is special and irreplaceable...i agree when you say you don' t miss having one but that is because no one is indispensable but some relationships are to be cherished. we may love them out of selfishness but it is through these relationships that we learn to share and care and live beyond ourselves...
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2007-06-18
#3
Name: Harsh
Subject:  Absolutely
i agree with Nidhi, that a father is irreplaceable. By father i mean anyone who fulfills this aspect in your life, whether a biological or adopted father or even a friend or relative who plays the role
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2007-06-15
#4
Name: shanta
Subject:  wind beneath my wings
my dad has been the wind beneath my wings...I agree with Houston for my dad--\" did you ever know that you' re my hero, you are everything I wanted to be, you are the wind beneath my wings\" ...he is no more and I miss him like hell
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2007-06-14
#5
Name: blueeyed boy
Subject:  love dads
Dads can' t be perfect. Because no one can be. But we love them nevertheless. Because true love is unconditional. And there are so many things, their protectiveness, the way they guide you, they are always so knowledgable, the way they dote on their children.
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2007-06-13
#6
Name: niradh
Subject:  fathers influence
my father never put any pressure on me to be like him or be anything. he just loved us, cared for us, shared his interests with us, and usually put our wishes ahead of his own.

but today i realise the person i am is so much like what he was. this has nothing to do with the way he brought me up, but my own response to his influence in my life.

my brother grew up under the same influence, and had an equally strong bond with dad, but cannot be said to have inherited the same interest or worldview.
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2007-06-12
#7
Name: ved
Subject:  Hi
My dad is hte best dad in the whole wide world. He' s been with me ever since i came into this world and has been very loving and caring every single minute. He has even cleaned my potty and given me bath etc.. as a dad he scores 100/100. cheers to my dad!!
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2007-06-12
#8
Name: Varun
Subject:  Hi
I never had a father. Never saw him. He left my mother when I was too young. I hope I never meet him. I dont feel the need for a father figure. I' m my own father. I dont look to others for guidance, unless the person is qualified in that area of expertise.

Relationships such as father, mother, sister, and brother are completely natural...There' s nothing eternal about them. You love them out of your own selfishness..If it was unconditional, why do you love only your parents? Why cant you love every person in this world?
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2007-06-12
#9
Name: Ashwin Patnaik
Subject:  Varun
I totally agree with Varun... All relationships really exist in the mind...We claim to like or love someone. But who is that someone? You have an image of your father or mother. and your father and mother has an image of what you are. Ultimately, the relationship is between two images!!! We never are able to connect with person heart-to-heart, because we dwell in images, talk in words that we do not understand, and speak of high-falutin ideas and dreams borrowed from someone else.
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2007-06-12
#10
Name: Varun
Subject:  Thanks
Thanks guys. But really, I don´ t have any fatherly figures in my life. And I have no problem with that. I dont seek one. I dont believe in selfless love. The chemicals in your brain determine how selfless your love is. All our " loves" stem from the love of oneself, which is the only genuine love you can find.

Few of my commandments...

Learn to love yourself so that you can love others.

Expect nothing from others--expectation is the mother of disappointment and pain.

Be free of the fetters of all relationships. The only true relationship is the one you have is with your mind.
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2007-06-12
#11
Name: Luckly Lips
Subject:  Dads the best
I love my dad. He´ s made me who I am today. If you dont have a father its sad but I´ m sure there are other fatherly figures in your life. Might be a superior at work or a college professor thats filling the role if you think about it
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2007-06-12
#12
Name: Shweta
Subject:  Varun
Hi Varun, sad to know that your father left you when youn were so young.

i had a warm relationship with my own father and i owe - in terms of the person i have grown up to be and the values system i hold - to him.

what you say about relationships is absolutely true, but as long as you mean only the biological relation. biological parents may not choose to fulfill their designated role and the fact of them being parents then may mean nothing.

at the same time, there are those who willingly assume the role of our ´ fathers´ and ´ mothers´ , whether they are or are not our natural parents. and these relationships are special if you consider the selfless love that they express
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2007-06-11
#13
Name: Jade
Subject:  can´ t adjust
my father is often away for long periods for his work. when he comes home he talks loudly and orders us about. it is irritating. i like only my mother. it feels like having a guest at home when dad comes. i feel no connection to him. he makes no effort to understand our lifestyle.
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2007-06-12
#14
Name: Jacen
Subject:  far away
I guess ur dads in the armed forces or navy perhaps? Or is it just that hes working somewhere else. Am sure he cant bear to be without his family but he´ s working hard to put bread on the table so to speak
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2007-06-11
#15
Name: Tishna
Subject:  repayment
I don' t understand how you can ' repay' someone' s love. It' s like saying if someone gifts you, got to gift them back something of the same value. How demeaning is that. We do things because we want to. if you think your fathr should be repaid, you are also saying that he provided for uyou out of a sense of duty. Let us spread love and cheer. There is no need for debts and guilt when the stem of your actions is your own desire.
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2007-06-11
#16
Name: Tishna
Subject:  nice
Nice and warm article. We should love and respect our fathers. however, I do not believe that one should follow in one' s father' s footsteps or fulfil their unfulfilled dreams. You are your own person after all. Your father would only wish you to do what brought you happiness, not someone else' s dreams.
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2007-06-12
#17
Name: cyrus
Subject:  i agree
fathers role really is to help their children grow up tom find their own individuality and beocme what they want

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2007-06-11
#18
Name: Chintan
Subject:  Great article!
This brings tears to my eyes. I feel guilty that I have never been able to repay what my father has done for me. Maybe, one can repay it by selflessly loving our kids.
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2007-06-11
#19
Name: Daniel
Subject:  Payback
Be the person your father always aspired to be. Thats a nice way to repay your father. Also be true to his principles nad ideals as far as possible
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