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Love Stories:Dillema !!! pls help me !!!
2006-10-16
Name: preety I have been married for 4 years and got a cute son. my husband is very polite,calm, good and clean person ( not having any bad habits ) .
Problem i sthat before marriage I loved a person , due to some reason cldnt able to marry him.
Early stage of my marriage I didnt miss hi,m.. after my delivery when some issues came in my family I started missing him...
even tou i try to keep me busy .. sometimes I am missing him a lot ..daily i am thinking abt him ..sometimes i feel like going to him ..soemtimes not feeling like that ..how to get rid of this issue.





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2006-12-19
#1
Name: Mahalakshmi
Subject:  Haiyo Preeti
Dont do this again Preeti. Dont call your friend/lover once again and dont make him fool. if you try to convince him your life may go wrong. Dont do it once again. Just pray to god and he will do everything good. i think you wont accept to this but this is reality. also did you tell about this to your husband. you could have discussed at the right time to him about this and asked his suggestion to cure ur friend. tell him the true reason and be true to ur husband. truth will never lead wrong way. it will pave way for ur good life if u are true to ur husband who is really loving you a lot. the only problem is u r feeling guilty and it is also right. share it with ur husband. its just my opinion and not even a suggestion. u can take or just throw it. WISH YOU ALL SUCCESS.
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2006-12-10
#2
Name: ash
Subject:  stop this
You fucking bitch. You are now Mom and you also blessed with a caring husband .

Why you have to think about that cheap lover who was always after your hairy pussy to FUCK .

A lover before marriage is always MATERIALISTIC.

Dont ever think of ruining your life like this . Yes if you are not getting satisfied in your sex life , then you can have your cunt satisfied with your watchman , milkman or a nice handsome bachelor staying next to you. But ever think of getting away from your husband and child.

All the best

Straight forward
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2006-11-16
#3
Name: k
Subject:  hi
congrats u r a mom ..........now forget u r past.....and live happily
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2006-10-29
#4
Name: SONYA
Subject:  TO: Preety
hi,
Don't be sad.....you are a new mom now.
and Congrats!

Something must of triggered this thing
that makes you miss your friend/lover.

It's kind of like getting a headache,
you just have to figure out a way to
not let yourself be in that position or
think about this stress related subject.
anyways......maybe this is a bad example

Preety: look at your child, see how cute
he is, this child was created from
you and your husband.
I am not an expert...but, please don't
think how the baby will look like if
you and your friend/lover would of have
this child.....sorry, I might be wrong
but this is what I think is the main
cause for you missing him so much.

anyways: I hope that there are still
people here in this board that can give
you a more genuine reply, take care of
yourself and your child-bye
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2006-10-17
#5
Name: A lover
Subject:  sick!
CRY PREETY CRY!

YOU MUST CRY YOUR HEART OUT FOR DOING WHAT YOU HAVE DONE.

I WONDER IF PEOPLE LIKE YOU DESERVE LOVE, MARRIAGE OR LOVE MAKING IN THEIR LIFE AT ALL!
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2006-11-16
#6
Name: Hunter
Subject:  Calm down, A lover!
Hey Man,

This lady is looking for some help-ful
Advice. Why do you have to put her down
like this?
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2006-10-16
#7
Name: sangini
Subject:  dont do it...........
Please don't draw comparisons please this is not the right way or else you will spoli your married life, you said ur hubby is nice doesnot have any bad habits how do you knoe my friend if you had married \" YOUR LOVE\" he would be nice love and marriage are a different aspects of life marriage is the truth its very different to love a person and stay with a person, sso plese don't spoil ur married life and instead work on the aspects you feel you have shortcomings and if your hubby lacks somewhere discuss with him and tell him that this way is right or wrong and at the same time coem out of this fairytale life, life is no movie in which the heroine is waiting for her prince charming,u have a kid too so now this is your enjoyment your kid and husband....no body is perfect even not ME AND YOU...
take care ...
enjoy...
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2006-12-18
#8
Name: Mahalakshmi
Subject:  Great Sangini
HATS OF TO YOU AND YOUR WAY OF ADVISING. I LIKE YOUR WORDS.
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2006-10-16
#9
Name: kumar
Subject:  pre-marital love
Hi Preety,

How far was that love affair of yours? Did you have any physical relationship with him? Is he also married by now? Does he live in the same city? Have you been in any kind of contact with him, you know and can contact him now?

The fact that after the initial period you have staterd remembering and missing him again, it implies that you have not been able to love your husband! This is not unusual at all, there are scores of loveless marriages like yours. You can destroy whatever your marriage is, easily by getting back to him! Take care, keep away from those thoughts, think of your baby and in case your sex life has suffered in the recent past, work on that. Make your life more interesting.

Why could you not marry him then? Have all those reasons vanished by now? Try and answer as many questions as you can and want to. I pray for strength in you to live your life within the constraints.

I am though in favour of not living in a life of misery and if need be get out of one relationship and going for your dreams, but all that cost a lot, a lot, you wont even be able to visualize the cost as of now!

Keep posting, my good wishes with you.

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2006-10-18
#10
Name: preety
Subject:   ...
its a very big storyyyyy...dont want to put in forum...I feel Now no ptt n discussing all as i want to forgot everything.

If I call someone as Bad it doesnt mean that I need to be good. BAd is Bad.

Thank u very muchh for ur time . Bye

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2006-10-18
#11
Name: preety
Subject:   ...
its a very big storyyyyy...dont want to put in forum...I feel Now no ptt n discussing all as i want to forgot everything.

If I call someone as Bad it doesnt mean that I need to be good. BAd is Bad.

Thank u very muchh for ur time . Bye

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2006-10-18
#12
Name: preety
Subject:   ...
its a very big storyyyyy...dont want to put in forum...I feel Now no ptt n discussing all as i want to forgot everything.

If I call someone as Bad it doesnt mean that I need to be good. BAd is Bad.

Thank u very muchh for ur time . Bye

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2006-10-18
#13
Name: kumar
Subject:  my questions!
Preety dear,

You never answered my question as to why you married someone else, having loved him?

You called me bad, I accept but have you thought what you have done to him?
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2006-10-18
#14
Name: preety
Subject:  .
Better I would nt have asked abt ur story .Thou I dont know the head and tail of ur story . I am worried abt ur wife and her feelings towards u . BUt Not for U . u r Bad .

I have no idea of doing such mistakes . If I do so I have to break many ppl's heart ..as u said costs a lot lot .. lot ... I am not dare enough to do it .

I am feeling very sad nowadays.. May be Guilty feeling ... If he marries prb wld be solved as I'll be happy that someone is there for take care of him and good for him also . Isnt it?

Praying for the same !




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2006-10-18
#15
Name: kumar
Subject:  ha ha ha...... your curiosity....
I am middle aged. It was an extremely involved EMA for both, with promise to D and to reM and also children! But she quit it unceremoniously once she was done with the advantage she had to receive from me!

I continue in my marriage with a grown up child, living the life of a dead. The trauma continues.

May I ask : Why could you not marry him? What are your feelings now?
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2006-10-17
#16
Name: preety
Subject:  Thank u very much !!!
Have no words to express more.

Thank u very much for ur valuable time and suggestions.

I am very sorry to hear abt ur own personal life. Out of curiosity would like to know r u normal and married after that .





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2006-10-17
#17
Name: kumar
Subject:  U cant correct ur blunders!
Dear Preety,

My sincere suggestion is that FORGET HIM completely. Do not bother yourself with his life and future. Just concentrate on your life, take care of your baby and try to give the most to your husband, try and love him. He and your baby are completely innocent they deserve 100% of you.

As I say this and in spite of my complete consciousness that I am possibly nobody to make these comments, I can not but do think you have been majorly responsible for the damage to your lover's life. I am sure you must have had reasons but still its very unfortunate that you loved someone and thereby made him love you so very deeply and married someone else! This is almost criminal, though no court may convict you! Can you ever forgive yourself completely? If you had ever loved him in the real sense of the concept of love, you will suffer for a very long time to come that alone can purify you.

I wish that in spite of the betryal to love that you have commited, you receive love in your life and have a pleasant happy and peaceful married life.

DO NEVER contact him again. Do not try to find out from common friends or anyone that you may come across as to how he is doing. I am saying this because in my humble understanding you do not DESERVE to know these about him. He will take care of himself, time is a great healer. Just pray for him.

My prayers for your peace.

I have been so passionate about the issue because I have been on the side of your lover in my own personal life. I know what he is going through.

Take care and do keep posting. I would look forward to help you.
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2006-10-17
#18
Name: preety
Subject:  Thank u very much !!!
My marriage life is smooth. I tooo have small issues which everyone has(MIl, SIL, DIL * FIL politics ).
bcoz of my feeling towards this guy only makes my life also bit miserable.( 90% I am happy with my present life ..somehow the other 10 % dominates and makes my life in dilemma) Thats the problem where I started this topic.

I am also working and handled so many things But when it comes to this matter somehow I am not finding any.

Yes I am also working here. for next 2 to 3 yrs have no idea of going back to India.

Yes u r rt. I couldnt able to do anything for him otherthan giving nice advice Thou I wanted to do something for his life.

dont know how to express here . luv is really painful.
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2006-10-17
#19
Name: kumar
Subject:  I am very sad....
Dear Preety,

After reading your reply I am extremely saddened. I can not describe to you how sad I felt for you and much more than that for him.

Its really very very unfortunate to see what he is now and I surely wish someone is able to help him live his life.

Before I suggest you something, I suppose I need to understand how good bad or whatever your marriage is. In case you are very sure that you are or can make yourself happy in your present marriage then get back early, let me give you my thoughts. If you think what you are in is a very poor truce and a compromise which you may not be able to carry on for too long then I may have a different set of thoughts.

Incidentally are you working in US? Is your husband there only for a temporary assignment and would get back to Hyd/B'lore after a while?

It appears from your reply that you want to continue in your life but have a concern for him and you wish he rises from the ruin you left him in without affecting your life!

Say YES or NO to my question above.
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2006-10-17
#20
Name: preety
Subject:  Thank u very much !!!
When I posted i thot that I wont get any genuine suggestions ... but after seeing ur reply i felt happy...Thank you very much for ur valuable time and suggestion ...

coming to ur qs,
THou I know him for arnd 8 yrs , Luv 'it was arnd 2 yrs . Thou v dont have phy relationship I had a nice time with him. It was really heaven. now no pt in telling abt those.
After I got marred I move d to other city, so didnt get a chance to meet/contact him. when i went for delivery to my native also dont feel like contacting him. In fact I forgot his feeling totally at that time. after coming back I had a big issue n my family when my husband diddnt support me at all . tat time onwards I started thinking abt him .

Last yr arnd june , He got a job in hyd, where I was living, there got a chance to meet him thru one of our colloege friends. He blasted and talked for more than 2 hrs . After hearing all his talks only I cam to know that I made a big mistake. ruined his life. he drinks a lot thou he is into a good IT job .NOt thinking abt marriage at all it seems . after that I phoned him for arnd 5 or 6 times, Keep saying not to drink and get married soon . I didnt even think he 'll be like this as he is very jovial, matured, Good musician and sportive.
Problem is that he is not comng out, thou he is working in a reputed IT company and can easily settle down.
last yr oct I came to US. Came to know thru friend that he is not at Hyd now and moved to Bangalore. Once I called and advised him not to drink and get married soon . that time v were into argument. At last he blamed me that he is like this bcoz of me . I told him its ur mistake that u r not coming out of it. Past 8 months I have no contacts.


Any suggestions for making him normal ?

Once again Thank you very much for ur suggestions and wishes .U r Good soul!!!



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