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Joint Family:desperate
2002-05-16
Name: abx Hi everyone,
I had been hoping since long that my problems would get solved and kept hoping for the best and tried to bury everything within my mind. My problem started very soon after our marriage and though we stayed out of india my life is more or less only like a in laws dominated house. It all happened when my foolish husband fell a pray to his mother's sweet behaviour(which which she is not actually) and keeeps on trusting that whatever she says is correct and only what i do is wrong. Right from the beginning she tried to to put up a show saying she is like my daughter and thus both my husbands and my in laws expecatation grew day by day. My mil used to talk so sweet about me in front of her beloved son but when i spoke to her she used to talk in a sarcastic manner. I first used to bear with everything and later on when i told my husband about all this he never even believed in my words and told me that his mom is a goddess and iam nothing to him. Een when we stayed for a while for our vacation he used to run behind his mom ,hug her saying ,hai honey etc etc and used to just neglect me.And even his mom used used to enjoy all this and tried to pull her son to her side for no sin at all committed by me. Day by day all this bullshit kept growing like his mom trying to put up a show in front of him and he believing in his mothers ways. And when i got pregnant and had to go to india my husband kept telling me that u have to call my parents daily and when i called them they never even used to respond to me properly and his dad used to treat me like garbage.And then when their beloved son came to india , they tried to poison his mind and tried to pick up a big quarrel between both of us, and called my parents to their house. Instead of bringing a compromise they blew up their fight and asked my parents to get out of their house and my husband never even used to come to see me and child .And all this they did while i was inmy final stages of pregnancy and hence u all could imagine what sort of mental torture i would have undergone. And after my husband left india he used to tell me that i must visit his parents every now and then, and when i used to call up his parents my fil used to ask me why are u coming and how long u will be staying and all sorts of bullshit. And even when i said all this to my husband he used to say even if they say that u have to again and again ask them , And throout my life only this has been hapenning, they trying to insult me and me going to their house in spite of all this and even now only this has been happenning. Even now he keeps on saying that i should call them up daily and talk to them. Is there any commonsense in all this. What is there for someone to talk daily to their in laws and that too to such deceivers. Now he is trying to blackmail me that if i don;t satisfy all his needs he will give me a divorce. I have my kid and for that sake i do not want it.EVen now they have brainwashed their son saying that i should take care of them in their old age though they have other two sons and they expect it from me. And i told him that i am ready even ready for that as well. But i keep on asking to myself in what way is it fair for them to treat me like shit and expect good behaviour from me. I am really confused and desperate. I have tried venting out my feelings to my hubby but still he takes only his parents side. So far i have been living only as per wishes but slowly i have started feeling that the more i do the more he expects out of me and i don't know what's going to be end to all this. When ever this topic arises we get into misunderstanding and don't even talk to each other for one week or so, so again i only keep compromisign. In what way is it fair for me to keeps serving those people who treat me and my parents like garbage. Please advice. I am almost into a mental depresssion due to all this and i am not able to tolerate all this nonsense.

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2005-09-14
#1
Name: khushi
Subject:  hi
i can realize you are going through what pain but try to be smart in this situation i know its very difficult for you to make ur hubby understand how ur in laws are behaving with you. if he ask u to call them up daily then why don't u give call to ur in laws infront of ur husband and try to use ur speaker phone. so that he can also listen everything what ur inlaws are saying. whatever ur inlaws says u just be polite with them and let ur hubby decide who is wrong and who is right.
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2003-11-06
#2
Name: Friend
Subject:  Hi abx
Hi abx,
Now with 2 kids I am finding no time at all to surf on the net and read/reply to messages.
Anyway, happy to read your post. Thanks and I hope everything is going well on your side as well.
Take care.
Bye.
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2003-10-16
#3
Name: abx
Subject:  hi
Hi friend and tensed,
How are things with u. HOpe both of u deliveredur babies by now. How are u all doing. just wanted to write, since i din't get any posts from u guys since long. Bye and good luck
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2003-08-20
#4
Name: Friend
Subject:  Hi abx
Hi abx,
Saw your message and thanks for your earlier reply in detail. I too wanted to discuss about things with you further. But for now, I am kind of busy. So let me catch with you after a while. Till then take care. Bye.
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2003-08-12
#5
Name: abx
Subject:  hi
Hi friend,
din't see a reply from u today, so thought of writing in detail to u.
Now coming to ur problem, i don't think u can do much, about changing ur hubby's mind about bringing his parents here.Coz the more u oppose he will only tend to become more rigid in his decision. The same thing happned with me this time. My hubby just returned from india in july and now again he is planning to go over in mid september and i was mad at him when he said that. Its not the question of going friend, but its the amount of debt it puts us in. He already took a big loan for his last trip, and now he is further increasing the volume on the loan, for going this time again. I really don't understand where all this will lead us to.i warned my hubby about our tough fianncial situation, and told him the more we get into debt, the more miserable our life is going to be. But he never seems to take it seriosuly. He says, no probs, i can clear off all the loans, within 6 mths or so.I also had a big fight with him few days, back, but he seems not to be so worried about anything. He just came back and patched up happily , without any guilt. SO i thought there's no use fighting this issue out again and again, as he seems to be cool about it, and its only i who is worrying too much. But i made it clear to him that , just because, he is in debt he must not compormise on any of my needs and my daughter's, and he said, yes to that as well, and he has been speding the money on our daughter's day care as well. Coz i made it very clear to him, that, we must send our child to some playshcool until she starts going to some public school.
So iam trying to tell u same thing. Tell ur hubby that he can do as he pleases, but he shoudl not compromise on any requirements either urs or ur kids, and that's the rule, bcoz the moment they realise they are highly in debt, they try to convince us, ssaying, we shall stop spending on this hereafter and so on. But u must be very firm in ur requirements. Automatically after a particular time, he himself, will realise the pinch and regret his decisiion. Till then u just remain calm.
I am doing the same thing here. Now i know he will not change his decision, and hence i have decided not to argue any more about tht issue.

But friend, i have another suggestion for u. U say, ur hubby is at home now, so don't u think just u 2 will do to take care of ur kid, I mean do u really need even ur mil, now tht ur hubby is at home, let him help u a bit with the kid, and cooking etc, etc, and if he gets a job, then let him sponsor his parents. Why don't u try telling this to him. I hope u take it in the right spirits. Does ur hubby normally lend u a helping hand in all ur chores, if the answer is yes, then i think u 2 are enough to raise ur kids. Anywyas, ur mom will be there, for another month or so right. So still do u need ur mil's help again. Just think it over.Coz from what i read about ur mil, i don't even think she would do much for ur kids, right. Anyways, its up to u.

And reg ur mil's attitude of partiality, there's nothing much u can do, friend, coz its difficult to change people after this age, so all that u can do is just ignore their bad deeds, god will take care of everything. SO u don't worry about all that. If she purposely does less for ur child, and more for her other grandkids, don't even give a damn to it, and like ur hubby u too pretend as if u aren't observing anything fishy in it. Slowly ur silence might change ur hubby's attitude, all this i am just telling out of my life experiences. Don't spoil ur mood by even thinking of those people. Just forget them and lead, ur life, peacefully. U very well know they don't give u presents, so be it. Don't even worry about it. Just reamin silent, after all by god's grace,u are not dependant on them for anything, then why do u bother about them friend, just leave it. We are there to give the best to our kids, Next time when u go, even u buy few things just for the sake of it, and don't go out of ur way, buying presents for them. Now the priority in ur life, is ur kid, and more attention to ur newborn. If u are so worried and depressed, then u won't be able to attend to ur new born well, and its going to affect ur health.
And reagarding bringing ur dad, just wait and see, if u hubby brings his parents, then tell him even ur dad will come;

And to tell u soemthing from my side, My mom met with a hairline fracture recently, and she is advised to be on bedrest completely for 21 days, after which she can slowly start walking. I told my hubby this matter, only the next day, and he had sent a mail enquiring my dad about my mom, but never told me about it. So iam glad atleast he had the courtesy to enquire about my mom, but when i again gave the phone to him, he just spoke very little to my mom, just for the sake it. I was of course upset but din't react much, as i am just giving him a long rope and waiting to see how he behaves in future. But he asked me if he could send them some money under my name to them, so that it could help them with the hospitalisation expense. I am somewhat in a dilemma. Coz i know my parents wouldn't like to accept any money from my hubby, all tht they want is just his kind behaviour tht's all, They don't expect anything else from him. But my hubby said, ur father is already a retired, person, and so why not help him financially. I still din't give him any reply to it. Coz if i accept that money and send it to them, then t'rrow if soemthing crops up, then he would beat about his trumpet saying, i came froward to help ur parents and all. So i am still giving it a thought. morever even if i ask my dad if he needs any money , he alwatys, says, only no to me. See how sweet my paretns are, they never want anything from us, and always, think only about our welfare. u know what. My dad never even wrote to me abou the news of my mom's fracture, coz he din't wnat to give me any kind of mental tensions. And i came to know it only thro my cousin.

What do u feel friend, what do u say, should i accept my hubby's financial help for my parents or not, what are ur views, do write to me. I actaully have lot more to talk to u about this issue. I hope i have relieved ur mind of worries at least a bit by posting this message. Do let me know what u feel about everything. And keep in touch regularly okay. And what do u think about our chat.If u feel its not possible from ur end, then forget it. Just let me know ur opinion about everything okay.

ANd how is ur new born doing. Is ur elder daughter still going to the day care. How is ur health now. Don't worry too much about all ur problems okay, u need to concentrate more on ur health now. Whenever u are worried about anything, just write it down to me, and i will try my best to help u out. And even i will keep u posted about everything okay. bye for now. waiting for ur early reply.
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2003-08-11
#6
Name: abx
Subject:  chat
Hi friend,

Saw ur messages, and noted all the contents. Very sorry to learn the situation u r undergoing, its somthing similar to the one i am facing as well. I would rather say that my sitaution is too too bad right now.I have lots to talk to u about ur issue, and mine. SO just let me know if u can come over for a chat on yahoo messenger, my i.d. is new_abx. i hope it wouldn't be a problem with u. WE could discuss it in detail there. Let me know ur opinion okay. In which part of u.s. do u live.(coz we need to set up a particualr time for that.
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2003-08-09
#7
Name: Friend
Subject:  Hi abx
Hello abx,
Thanks very much for your wishes and an immediate reply!
Yes, I am feeling much relieved to have my mom with me now and I am enjoying my new baby too.

I felt very sad to read your story and I have to tell you somthing abx. In one way I am also in the same boat of yours, but in a different way though. Let me share as we are getting some suggestions and some relief by sharing our feelings with friends, right?!!

As I have noted earlier in one of my messages, my in-laws are doing very fine by God's grace and I am really happy for them. But their partiality mind is growing day by day and my hubby is not noticing/or pretending not to notice, which really bothers me mentally. I am not longing for them to buy me something. Thank God, my parents are there to buy for us. But isn't that nice if the grandparents themsleves buy and send something for their grandchildren. They didn't send anything except 2 dresses for my daughter. That too after my showed all the 10-11 nice dresses she bought for my daughter my in-laws asked us the size for my daughter when we called them to talk one weekend. Then they bought 2 sets which are similar to what my mom bought already (you see their nature of trying to compete with what others do). That's all abx. They didn't even send anything for the new baby. Not even a wash cloth or a bib. But my mom bought lot of nice cloths , bib and wash cloths for my son as well. Also she bouhgt me nice 2 sarees and a nice gold ring for my hubby. For me and daughter and for new baby, my mom and dad bought lot of jewels like neck chain (new baby), necklace (for me) and bangles (my daughter).

His brother who lives in India with their parents didn't even care to ask his brother(my hubby) what he wants.

All these feelings are coming to me more as we are in a difficlut situation at this moment. I am telling you abx, for the last 2 years my hubby worked and earned money only for 4 months. yes, it's actually a terrible time for us. He got affected in this bad economy/ IT industry's lay-off's and things like that. It's only me for this past 2 years that earns some money to run the family. In this situation won't you think that my BIL must have asked and send atleast one shirt for his brother. Whenever we visit them how much gifts we have bought for them. You won't believe abx. In one of our visit I bought and presented a $120 worth watch to my co-sister. In that trip just because my BIL said that he likes my hubby's sunglass (raybon) my hubby gave that to him and came back to US without one. This is in addition to all the other nice gifts (T-shirts and stuff) we have bought for them. I also have bought nice corals and pearls for both my MIL and my co-sister. Now even after they know very well that we are in dificult condition for money and somehow we are managing with one salary they are living as if it's none of their business. I am not asking them to send us money for expenses. But don't they need to send something with kind words on their own. They didn't even ask what do we need.

Now, on top of all these. I am in a situation where I am really confused to take a decision. See my mom is here and my dad can come by taking only 2 months vacation as he is working there in India. But what my mom says (as she knows the financial situation here and she is willing to take part in our sadness) that no need to invite my dad. Anyway we will be going to India next year sometime to go to temple to do the 'Head shaving' ceremony . So she says Dad can see you guys and the new baby at that time. Now, don't spend dollars for one more ticket. See, how nice she is. But I feel very bad to leave my dad like that even after my Mom adn Dad says it's OK and they are in fact insisting this in order for us to save some money.
Then I was asking my hubby, if this is the case, why don't we invite our MIL alone instead of Both my in-laws to come and stay with us after my mom leaves. For that my hubby says that she can't come alone. She will be really scared to come alone by herself even if we find a good companion to bring her here. See abx, this is what we did for my mom too. We found our friend is coming to US after their India trip and we asked our Mom to come with them and she agreed and she came all by herself with thoese friends. Then why con't his mom, abx? He says your mom can manage coming with a friend, I don't think my Mom can. How is it? If that's the case we will be spending all our money and bring his both the parents. But it's only me will sacrifice and ask my dad to not to come. When I ask this he says, don't stop your dad. Let him come to. We will manage. How, I don't know. He says we will do somthing. I may get a job by then. OK, by God's grace let him get a job. But if in case he is not, I am really scared about managing family (now with 2 kids) in one salary. In this condition if we spend (2+2) 4 tickets and go in debt, how will we be able to go to India next year. See abx, we are 4 four again and we need to buy 4 tickets for our trip. In between we have to pay for the house, my daughter's school fees and new baby's expenditure.

My mom says 'it's OK even if you invite both your in-laws. I will talk to dad and he won't feel bad, we understands your situation. So, try to save atleast one ticket's money and that will be useful for you later in your life'. See, how sweet she is. But I feel very confused and I really feel that is that my dad (my side) always has to suffer. Then I feel that i should ask my dad to come here even if it's for 2 months alone.
What do you think, abx? At one stage I think I should leave my dad and also ask the same (my MIL coming alone by herslef over the phone) and see their response for that. I am greatly confused abx. Please give me your suggestions with that I will feel little convinced I think.

I am so sorry for writing this long about my end. But I wanted to share with some one to feel light in heart.
right now, with the joys I have (having my mom with me when I had this new baby along with my family), I am trying to forget my sorrows/worries and trying to be happy. Please do share your opinions and suggestions about this whole partiality situation and about my dilemma as well, abx.

Regarding your side, about having the 2 nd baby, if you are sure about your decision, I mean having one more child, then don't think or hesitate about anything. It's our family and it's our child who will suffer later without haivng a sibling to share their life with. So, go for it.
As per the age gap, I wouldn't say 5-6 year age gap is too much of a age difference. I have few friends who have their kids in this age gap.
This life will change and things will get better in life (by god's grace) in future, so don't change your mind about having another child if you have already decided to have one. That's what we did. Though we are in tough situation now and also when I conceived we hoped for some good things to happen and went ahead to have another one as we both are very sure about having 2 kids in our family. So, talk to your hubby and go in that direction which you both think will be good for your life/ your future. Good Luck, abx. Let's keep in touch.
I will pray for both of us to have some good turnings/ things in our lives.
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2003-08-08
#8
Name: abx
Subject:  congrats friend!!!!
Hi friend,

Many congrats to u on ur new born baby. I feel so happy for u, especailly about ur easy and short labor. That's rally a good news for me. May god bless ur family with lots of happiness and properity. Its rally nice to hear that ur daughter is excited about her baby brother.How long will ur mom be with u. Having her around must be the biggest relief for u.

Things in my side is sobre still. Lready we are in debt, and again my hubby is planning to make a trip to india. NO use blaming him alone coz its his brothers who keep telling something or other. ANd u know what, REcently they are making some plans to bring her back to the u.s. Actaully the main problem is not bringing her back her and i have no objections to that at all. But u know now my mil can't sit down during trvel and they have to put her in a streatcher, and hence we have to pay 4 times the ticket price plus the charge for my fil and another escort. Is all this really possible. And fter coming here, they will need a full time nurse, whcih is again ging to cost too much.And his borther says, that he dosen't care if we are in debt or anyhing, but still we must provide sufficient finances for her. How is it possible friend, when we are already not able to save anything, how do they expect all this from us.. MY hubby is completely against it, and put his foot down and told them firmly tht he can't afford that much money. Instead he says, he is ready to go down to india, even on a long leave and help his mom out, coz things in india are comparatively cheaper right.Anyways i don't know where all this will lead to , and we are really worried about it. But atleast my hubby told frankly tht he can't afford to go into further debt. So that's the news from my side, otherwise life is fine. Its the mental stress which is really bothering us.

And do u remember i too was interested in planning for the second kid. With the present financial situation i don't think it is possible now. Now my daughter is already 4 . may be if i plan next year or so after we are fiancially better off, then there would a age gap or 5-6 yrs between the tw. Do u think this gap is okay. Please do let me know ur suggestions as well. Just giving it a thought.

Take care of ur health and realax well. And do keep in touch as and when u find time okay. Congrats again!!! bye
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2003-08-07
#9
Name: Friend
Subject:  Hello abx
Hi abx,
Good to see your message. Felt sad about the situations you are facing in your family. Let's hope everything will go smooth shortly.
I have got news for you. I had my baby on July 26th. It was a normal and fast delivery. I felt so much relieved by this short and sweet labour especially after a lon...g labour (18 hours) with my first one.
My daughter is so happy to have her baby brother at home and is very excited about this.
As it's the 2nd week after my delivery I am still resting. Because if I don't rest properly, I get/suffer some problems (like head ache, bleeding).
so, Let me catch with you later... (hopefully sometime in next week).
Till then take care. Bye.
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2003-07-23
#10
Name: abx
Subject:  long while!!
Hi friend,
Glad to see ur post after a very long while. Glad that things are fine with u and that ur mom has come to ur place. Have a nice time, and enjoy all the pampering. How is ur elder daughter doing now. I am sure she must be excited about the arrival of the new baby.HOpe thigns are smooth at ur end. When is ur edd btw. Do keep in touch regularly okay.

Things at my end are okay. Mil is still the same. She is bedridden, completely and not eating so good, and suffering a lot. My hubby returned from india about 2 months back, and is again planning to make a trip in another 2 mths to india.So life is stressed out emotionally and also financially. Anyways hope to get over it soon.
Take care of urselves, and do write whenever u find time okay. My best wishes to u for a safe delivery. Bye for now. /And expecting ur reply.
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2003-07-19
#11
Name: Friend
Subject:  Hi abx
Hello Adx,
I have come to this board after a very long time.....
I was kind of busy in prepareing myslef for the big day which is coming in another few weeks. (my due date)
In between, I got some baby showers done. (including two surprise ones).
My mom has come from India and she gave me a traditional baby shower which was so mucg good. I am getting pampared at home which is very nice and trying to complete my project/tasks at work before I take off.

How are things at your end, abx? Hope everything is going smoothly.
Take care and will try to keep in touch.
Bye for now.
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2003-06-10
#12
Name: abx
Subject:  hi friend
Hello friend,
Hope u are doing fine and also ur baby. Hope u are doing fine with ur pregnancy. Which mth are u in . WHen are u planning to get ur parents here. I was waiting to see ur reply since long and hence decided to send another post. Hope things are fine at ur end. Do keep in touch okay. Waiting for ur reply .
I am doing fine and hubby has returned back from india. Mil is still serious . DO write to me frequently okay bye
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2003-05-19
#13
Name: abx
Subject:  hi
hi friend,
Sorry for the late reply. Hope u and ur baby r doing fine. RIght now hubby has gone over to india to take care of his mom for a mth, and hence i have come over to sfo to spend some time with my bil and cousin sis. I have m,uch more to write to u in detail. I 'll catch u up soon say within a week bye for now.
hope u r doing fine with ur pregnancy.
bye
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2003-05-06
#14
Name: Friend
Subject:  Hi abx
Hi abx,
Got busy at work and also at home with family and couldn't able to reply to you earlier than this.
Hope things are going fine with you. I am sure you and your daughter must have had a tough time when your hubby was gone to see his mom. But what to do, abx? If she cries just for 3 days of missing her daddy, then I can imagine how much she is going to miss him in June. But sometimes you can't have control on some things in life, you know. I feel bad for your daughter. But let's hope she will understand it when you explain to her few more times.
On my side, things are going OK. Getting tired these days very easily. But, because hubby is giving a hand in household works, somehow managing home and work! See you in next message. Take care. Bye!
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2003-04-24
#15
Name: abx
Subject:  hi again
Hi worried, and friend,
Where are u both. Din't see any posting from u both since long. Waiting to see ur replies
bye
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2003-04-10
#16
Name: abx
Subject:  hi friend
Hi friend,
So glad to see ur reply. Glad to note that u are doing great with ur pregnancy. I am feeling so sad today, hubby is going to visit his mom in the u.s. and will return after 3 days. I understand the importance of seeing his mom, but heremy daughter will miss him so much that she will keep on crying and ask me \";mumma i want to see my daddy. And i really haven't told her the truth b'coz she will cry a lot when she sees off her dad. Atleast this time its okay, but he is planning to make a trip for a month to india in june, when his mom goes back to india. I really wonder how we are going to pull on one full month. Oh my god, when i think of it i feel depressed again. Mil is not doing so good these days, and is getting freqnet head aches etc etc, So they are planning to take her back to inida, to fulfil her last wishes like seeing her mom, her sisters, and other relatives.
My dd is 4 yrs old now(i remember u asked about it in ur last post). But anyways, may be we will think of the next only after few months, as his mom is sick now.
I am really glad that ur parents will be here soon. Do keep in touch okay.
expecting ur reply. bye for now,
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2003-04-06
#17
Name: Friend
Subject:  Hi Abx
Hi abx,
Thanks very much for your wishes. Yes, I am trying to eat healthy foods and take enough rest these days. Since I am working and already have a toddler at home it's kind of getting busy at times. But my husband is very understanding and helping at home. So, I am able to manage things correct. For the delivery we are going to invite my parents, of course. First my Mom alone will come as my dad is still working in Indiaa, he can take only few months vacation. So the plan is to ask my Mom to come first and then later my Dad will come and they will go back together while returning. This is how we did the for our first child too. Then my in-laws will come together and go back. My daughter is 3 yrs old. Yes, she is really excited about the new sibling she is going to get. Hopefully, she will be a good big SIS!. I am now in the 5th month, I have completed 4 months so far. As for now, since I just got out of all my morning sickness and all that, I am enjoying my pregnancy. Like you had mentioned in your message I too hope for an easy and normal delivery.
Regarding your plans what you and your husband are thinking is very correct. When you want to have a baby you have to see and make sure certain things are up to the expectation of yours. Anyway, as your daughter is also very young you still have time to think about the next baby. I believe even your daughter is about the same age, around 3 or less. Right?! Anyhow, Good luck to your plans. Take care and do keep in touch!
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2003-03-21
#18
Name: abx
Subject:  congrats friend
Hi friend ,
First of all my hearty congrats for the good news of the 2nd baby. I am so happy to hearit. so probably now u must be in ur 3 or 4th month right!! I am sure u must be enjoying ur pregnancy right. Everyone say 2nd babies are much easier to deliver and i hope u have a easy delivery. HOpe u are eating well and taking good amount of rest. I am sure ur hubby too must be helping u around now. BTW who will coming down when u have ur child. Ur parents / i remember u said u are bringing ur parents when u have the baby. How old is first baby now. She must be eagerly waiting to see her younger brother/sister now.
WEll friend reg my plans i am still thinking of it. May be i will have it. In fact now my hubby is a big worried about having it now as he feels it could be a wrong time. As i told u already we are in a tough financial situation due to my mil's illness. Hubby already had made 2 trips to the u.s. and now has plans to go agin , may be twice or so. So he is bit hesitant now, but he says, we can think of it after 2-3 months. The ortho specialist has given the okay for the next child. But only we haven't yet decided about it. Hubby says he is ready to apply leave for a month to take care of the child and me, in case we go for a child, as even my parents are growing old, and i don't want to trouble them again. Already i had been there for my surgeries and they took care of me.
So still thinking about it. What do u say. Do write ur comments as well. Bye for now and waiting for u reply.
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2003-03-29
#19
Name: Friend
Subject:  Thanks abx
Hi abx,
Thanks very much for your wishes. Yes, I am trying to eat healthy foods and take enough rest these days. Since I am working and already have a toddler at home it's kind of getting busy at times. But my husband is very understanding and helping at home. So, I am able to manage things correct. For the delivery we are going to invite my parents, of course. First my Mom alone will come as my dad is still working in Indiaa, he can take only few months vacation. So the plan is to ask my Mom to come first and then later my Dad will come and they will go back together while returning. This is how we did the for our first child too. Then my in-laws will come together and go back. My daughter is 3 yrs old. Yes, she is really excited about the new sibling she is going to get. Hopefully, she will be a good big SIS!. I am now in the 5th month, I have completed 4 months so far. As for now, since I just got out of all my morning sickness and all that, I am enjoying my pregnancy. Like you had mentioned in your message I too hope for an easy and normal delivery.
Regarding your plans what you and your husband are thinking is very correct. When you want to have a baby you have to see and make sure certain things are up to the expectation of yours. Anyway, as your daughter is also very young you still have time to think about the next baby. I believe even your daughter is about the same age, around 3 or less. Right?! Anyhow, Good luck to your plans. Take care and do keep in touch!
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2003-03-21
#20
Name: abx
Subject:  hello tensed
Hi tensed,
Good to see ur message after a long while, and i am really glad that everything is fine with u. See how things have changed within these 4 mths!! First of all my hearty congrats for the good news of the baby. I am very happy for u , and i hope u are taking care of urself well.
Also glad to know that u are getting along well with ur mil. I am really happy to hear that. Are they going to stay here until ur delivery or are ur parents coming. By the way in which trimester are u now. I wish u all the best for everything , and may god bless u with a healthy and beautiful child. Do keep us posted about the baby regularly. Don't lose touch okay. I know u are busy but try to drop a line or two in between whenever u find time. Good luck and take care bye. And do read my message to friend as well, as it contains the news about my plans of a second child.
bye for now.
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