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Aggressive Kids:Why does my child take to violence so often?
2001-01-14
Name: Juhi My son is in the habit of beating up all his classmates. He has just entered the first standard. And I fear that his teacher will soon throw his out. Can I do something about this problem?
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2004-05-29
#1
Name: learningmom
Subject:  aggressive children
Children become aggressive when the people around them are aggressive to them or when they repeatedly see aggressive behaviour. If you slap/smack/hit your child your child will think its OK to do that to others. You and other people around your child are role models. Reward good behaviour, ignore bad behaviour when possible, use time-outs otherwise. Do not constantly criticise and punish - this only builds up anger and frustration which can lead to physical aggression.
Spend time with your child, talk to them, more importantly listen to them, hug them and love them.

Advice I found...... \";...there may be some tough realizations for their parents along the way. \";Bullying is a learned behaviour,\"; says Cindi Seddon, co-founder of Coquitlam, BC's Bully Beware program and principal of Seaview Community School in that city. \";Children learn best from the people they love best. And they learn from what the people closest to them do, not from what they say.\";


For parents who blame TV, Nintendo, school or society for their kids' aggression, that statement is hard to take; many can't or won't acknowledge the part they play. John Grant, a paediatrician at Valley Regional Hospital in Kentville, Nova Scotia, says he's never had a child referred to him because of being a bully, but he sees plenty of victims with symptoms such as psychosomatic illness, school avoidance, social withdrawal and depression. He notes that research shows the highest frequency of bullying is at age seven (17 to 20 percent); at this age, kids are becoming aware of their power and are starting to use it. The incidence of bullying then declines steadily until age 15, when five to seven percent of kids are bullied.


\";I think parents are reluctant to admit their child is a bully because it reflects on them,\"; he says. \";They have to be strong and open enough to be able to re-evaluate the image they have of their child and their family, and they have to recognize they themselves may have to change.\";


He adds that peer influence is strong and can contribute to children becoming aggressive - peers intervene on behalf of victims only 25 percent of the time; 75 percent of the time they reinforce bullies by passively watching or actively modelling bullying behaviour. But the fact that bullying decreases as children mature suggests that earlier, preschool experiences are more important in the development of this behaviour. \";

Seek professional help. Try parenting classes. Learn new parenting skills.
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2002-10-22
#2
Name: shilpa
Subject:  voilent child
Hi Juhi
Even I had a same problem with my child.I think this may be because of the movies or even in cartoons they are showing voilence;which is affecting child's mind.
I tried to tell him in all possible ways,not to beat others .He is 4 1/2 yrs now.He is also very aggresive and don't listen to anybody.everyday there was complaints from his school and neighbourhood.I always waited and tried to give him time to grow up and stop doing such things.tried to tell him stories .
But last when he hit one boy in the school on his ear with a pencil tip;then I decided and with full control on my mind I really beat him very very hard on his legs with a wooden scale.then I hugged him and asked whether it pained? when he said 'yes' then I told , that is why you should not beat others. it pains to everybody.and surprisingly for last 6 months there is no complaint from his school.and his teacher also told that he is not beating anybody.He is short tempered,and now when he is angry he shouts or do other things but stopped beating.Ithought it was necessary to make him know about the pain when he beats anybody thats why I did that.Every problem has its own cure.And every child has its own way.so think from your child's point of view and try to make him realise.
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2002-09-04
#3
Name: bhagya
Subject:  agressive child
I agree with u in finding ur child on the agressive side.Actually it is becoming a common problem.But we as parents must gently but firmly put an end to it.We must make them realise that they are not only hurting others by their actions,but themselves too.
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2001-01-14
#4
Name: namrata
Subject:  may be he looks at volence as a means
I think ur child looks at volence as a means to achieve his ends. Just check out if your neighbour or anyone around him is beating up children too much. In that case, he might be copying them.
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2001-01-15
#5
Name: Divya
Subject:  Children imitate elders
I think you as parents try and correct his every wrong action by voicing it out to him loudly or beating him. It is quite natural I think for parents to correct their kids. But maybe you are a perfectionist and want yr child to behave well always and feel that if you dont do that u are not guiding him properly. Hope u wont mind my frank opinion ....? !!! But I think u try explaining him nicely...when he hits others or family members. His immediate reaction to your beating him and scolding him will make him react like you as he understands that if someonehits him he should hit back. Yes.. you will have to be quiet when he becomes violent and best thing I suggest would be to divert his attention. Gradually, Im sure hell outgrow this habit and react much soberly. You can hit him when he makes a mistake once but not often.
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2001-01-18
#6
Name: upasana
Subject:  violence is a way of life
Use of violence means belief in using the might. Curb this tendency now, before it flourishes into a major problem.
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2001-02-02
#7
Name: 
Subject:  agressive
my child who is 4 in jr k.G hits everyone,besides at home too he never listens to any one .his teacher is also very angry for him,what shall i do ?
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2001-05-05
#8
Name: carasia
Subject:  worried mum
my son valen is 6 yrs old and well behaved in his class. i feel he has got all the good qualities in him but i am facing only one problem and that is after watching the action programs on the T.V he wants to put them in practise and whenever he goes to play with his friend he only wants to play chor-police and he will be the chor
please help
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2001-11-15
#9
Name: Bhavani giri
Subject:  relax first
hi,

just relax first. most of the parents wants the kid to be perfect in all the activities which is impossible for the kids.

make it a point to pat and encourage all his positive activities. make it a point to make him great especially in front of his friends and relatives. just ignore whenever he irritates you. gradually he will notice the differece. as he grows he will turn into a well behaved boy. see to that you are not overdoing it. because we should not spoil him at the same time.
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