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Miscarriage and Child Loss:Lost my baby just 4 hrs after my delivery..
2009-07-01
Name: Vini George I still remember the day i realised that iam pregnant.It was the happiest day of our life. I was married for 5yrs and this news that i was waiting for every single month. My due date as per the DR was 5 May 2009. I always felt that my baby would see this wonderfull world and be with us on 2nd May as it was my paretns wedding anniversary. I went down to my parents home on 1st april. Had my regular check up every week on thursdays and all the test resulted to be normal. On April 23rd (thursday) went down for my check and the Dr informed that the baby is very happy inside and would take atleast another week. On the way back went down to purchase items for my baby as per the list given by the Dr as after a week we wld have to rush to the hospital any moment. I could see and feel my baby in every item I purchased. The next day (Friday 24th April) in the evening my uncle and aunt came, we were busy laughing and when they were about to leave my uncle informed that he feels that I would deliver the baby in the next 24-48 hrs. I took it as a joke and as soon as they left after an hour i could feel some vaginal fluid. I told my mom and younger brother that we better rush to the hospital as I felt that my water bag broke. I took a hot shower and rushed to the hospital. They check and informed that I would go into labour soon and would deliver the baby by next day afternoon or evening. I was soo ecxited to see my baby. I could not sleep the whole night and at about 3am had slight labour pain. My morning 8 the pain was intance but as per the Dr the dilation by 5cm and the babies head was still up. She informed that we would wait for some more time and if the babies head would not come in the coreect position would go for C-sec. I did nto care if it was normal or C-sec, I just wanted my baby in my hand. At 9.30AM when they check the dilation was 10cms and the babies head was in the correct position and at 10.50AM on 25th April my baby boy was born. I saw my baby was a boy and the Dr rushed my baby out of the labour room without informing me abything. I waited thinking that they would clean my baby and get my baby back soon. In 15min my gynac came and informed that my baby did not cry, but there is nothing to worry as they are trying their best. I thought that there cld be some complication but never occured to me that I would loose my baby. After 45 min i saw couple of Dr entering the labour room and i could feel something really bad news coming up. They said that my aby did not cry still and he is not respoding to any medication. They brought me out frm the labour room and after couple of hours my brother came up informing that the condition of my baby is critical and even if we get our baby his brain is dead and he would never be like a normal baby. I took all the courage I had to go see my baby in the NICU. He was a big baby of 3.1kg, fair, chubby and looked exactly like my hubby. My hubby was not there with me that time as he was in coimbatore and i was in pune. He was blue in colour with tubes in his mouth and nose. I could feel the pain he was going through. I could not bear it any longer and gave the permission for the Dr to go ahead with whatever they wanted to do. My baby left all of us in tears and sadness at 2.45pm. The priest was called from the church and he was cremated that very evening. My husband could not see our baby and he did not want to see him too as he would not be able to handle the situation. My husband reached Pune that very night and he was a great support for me. I asked the Dr to send me back home as I could not stay in the hospital any longer with all the babies crying around me. Even now when i hear a baby crying I get shivers all over my bosy and close my ears. i cannot bear it. I named my baby as NOAH. There has never been a single day after that I have not cried for my baby. I do feel like going back to the graveyard and getting him back to our life.He was an angel send by God into our lives and God took him back from us. I pry to God everyday and I have confidence in HIM that HE would return my baby back to me. Iam waiting for that day.
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2011-06-14
#1
Name: rose
Subject:  sorry vini
I dont have any words with me.i had 2 miscarriages and i lost my 4 kids during my 4th month.once it is a single baby and the 2nd time it is triplets in my case. i know it will be very painful to loose a kid.
But dont loose your confidence and faith.take a complete treatment and rest. try to come out from ur grief and remember u can give the same happiness to ur babby if you are really happy once again when u concieve.\" kehte haina bhagwaan ke paas der hai magar andhera nahi\"
ALL THE BEST DEEDI TAKE CARE
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2010-06-01
#2
Name: chinni
Subject:  vry sry vini
hii vini,after reading ur msg i couldnt stop my tears,itoo kno the pain ,i had a miscarraige in 8th week...but i still rremember that ...incident..loosing child is very terible pain..i was deprresed for a mnth...hoping all my luck i m planing for a baby now...if that baby comes to my hand i hope i may forget that child...
god bless u all..
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2010-04-23
#3
Name: Sneha
Subject:  Im Sorry Vini,
Hi Vini

I couldnt stop my tears after reading your message. I am so sorry for your lose, i can feel it.

I just hope all the happiness you deserve comes to you. My prayers are with you.
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2009-09-11
#4
Name: vilma
Subject:  Hi Vini
Thank u very much for your support. Do you stay in india. I dont stay in india I stay in Scotland in uk. Please reply. We can be good friends. And im going for a treatment in jan 2010 . In Scotland Uk . I will keep u informed what happens after my treatment. bye take care and we will keep praying for each other and for all those who are in trouble like us.
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2009-09-14
#5
Name: Vini
Subject:  Hi Vilma
Hi dear..it was great to get a reply frm ur end..i knw since we both sailing in the same boat cld understand each other better..yes iam frm india a southindian..how long have u been in UK..take care and wld surely pray for u..
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2009-09-04
#6
Name: vilma
Subject:  HI Vini
HI vini very sad to read what happened with u. But atleast u had the experience of being pregnanet. I stay with my husband i was married when i was 22 years old. im 27 now but im still trying for a child i never got pregnent. Because of the infertility problem is with my husband. Bad luck . Every one is asking me about good news. Even my parents and in -laws are waiting for it. i and my husband has gone through treatment. But when people ask about when im giving good news i dont have any answer to it. im fed-up and very frustated. i dont know really what to do.
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2009-09-07
#7
Name: Vini
Subject:  Hi Vilma...
I can understand what u going through as even i have gone through the same phase..it is terrible..people dnt realise that they asking is nt doing any good but causing more problems..dnt worry dear if u go down to see i conceived when i was 29yrs..it was with such great difficulty that i conceived and then lossing ur baby is a big hit on u..sometimes i feel it was beeter when i did nt conceive atleat i lived with the hope that i might conceive soon..now at this stage even the though of becoming pregnant gets me shivers..iam scared but cannot tell anyone too..anyways i wld surely pray for u and very soon u too wld conceive..Take care and never loose hope...
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2009-08-26
#8
Name: priya
Subject:  sorry for your loss vini
Really sorry for your loss. Time is the best healer. I can understand what you are going through...Trust in God he has something better for u.

After reading your message...I am having tears in my eyes. I have faced it. I am here in US with my hubby. After 3 years of marriage i was blessed with twins..I mean i was expecting twins. they were due june 11,2009. Since it was twins..had to be under special care of the doc..had visits every week...in my 20th week..doc gave us the news we are having a baby girl and a boy...We were so happy...My parents had come for my delivery in march..april 30th i just went for a regular check up..was in my 34th week. Had my NST test and sono...The sonographer told my boy isnt moving...they did NST for an hour..they couldnt find my boys heart rate well..means it was dropping..so my gynac told seems he is stressed out lets do an e-section...and I delivered my baby girl and baby boy...boy was the eldest ..i didnt hear him cry and I knew something was wrong.....they didnt even tell me when my baby girl was born..and i kept asking my hubby were are my babies...he said they are there..dont worry..docs are just checking...then i heard a baby crying ..that was my baby girl..and ikept asking were is my baby boy....the nurse told we are trying u relax ..u relax....then my gynac came and told my baby boys heart rate is low and in between the delivery they couldnt find his heart rate...for more than 45 mins his heart was not beating and told he is brain dead but if u want he will survive on ventilator....I kept crying doc u have to save him for me ..for me ..but then i fell unconsious..they took me to the room..my bp had rose so high..they felt..they were not able to bring it down..then i regained consiounce...and i saw my parents and hubby near me and told dont worry...Anusha is fine..we named our baby girl Anusha...and i kept telling my hubby where is ARjun...I hope he is fine..then my hubby told.priya he is brain dead and now docs are asking ur permission to remvoe him out of ventilators...My hubby told me its not good to hold a life this way....I didnt understand what to do when my one eye was happy to have anusha ..my one eye was cryin with the loss of Arjun....Then i signed papers to remvoe him out of the ventilator...and at arnd 2...they brought him bundle in a blue woolen blanket...He was an angel....I hugged him tightly and cried..thats what i could doo...that night i went to see my darling daughter in the NICU...she was another angel...God had gfted me.She was in NICU fr 18 days and now she is 4 months old...she is our princess and apple of our eye....for abt a month i woke up shouting doctor were is arjun.....was under tremendous depression..but with help of my hubby family and friends came out of it..Wehn i see anusha i always remember arjun...everyone tells me i should forget about arjun....and just live for anusha...but its difficult for me....

So vini dont worry..god has plans for us...we have to follows his orders...I am sure and pray that you are blessed with NAOH again...Now cheer up and be happy!!!
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2009-08-26
#9
Name: Vini
Subject:  Hi Priya
I just read ur message and thank u for all the support but frankly pseaking Iam in tears reading ur message..My baby if he wld have been with us he too wld have been 4mnths yesterday thats 25th august..had been to church to pray for him..how is anusha doing..I knw u wld never be able to forget arjun as he was a part of u and everytime u see ur daughter u wld feel the loss of arjun around..I knw after this how many ever children I have, i wld never forget my Noah as he was very special for me.. Take care and do remember me in ur prayers..
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2009-08-20
#10
Name: saina
Subject:  i am cousellor
hello,
i knw its very much truamatic for parents to loose there child just after delivery.the situation was so much intense but my child u have to move on with it now its obivious to have another baby yaah its for sure that u will miss that baby but time is a best healer it will heal ur pains...n god will grace u with another cute chubby child.....my dear u have to come out from this truama.look i am child counsellor too n for ur another baby to be healthy u have to be mentally fit...i get cases like u each passing days...if u want my help i will send u my email id so that i will help u to how to prepare for ur next baby birth...if u want
ur well wisher all the very best
my child
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2009-08-07
#11
Name: Vidya
Subject:  grief
Dear Vini,
Reading your experience brought tears in my eyes. I have gone through something similar recently too so I can understand your pain. I lost my baby girl at 20 weeks pregancy recently. It was my second child. It was heart breaking for us because this child was so much wanted by all of us. Especially by my daughter who wanted a baby sister so much. And the worst thing was I lost my uterus too due to complications in the delivery. It breaks my heart to think that I cant have any more children.
I am still recovering from all this and I pray to GOD that HE gives you the strength to cope.
No matter how many children you have after this, I know you cannot forget this little bundle whom you expected and loved so much. Your son will always live within you like my daughter does in my heart.
May GOD bless you my dear.
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2009-07-30
#12
Name: Hi Vini
Subject:  Sad
Sorry Vini, i know what u feel as I have gone through the same in life, but I should say I have suffered more than what u have. I had a pre mature delivery. I had just started my 7th month and on March 21st i felt my dress and bed was fully wet. I first though i had passed urine in the sleep but I was wrong when i went to the wash room i could still feel the water flow that is the time I understood something was wrong and called my husband and family to inform them that i need to go to hospital soon. They rushed home to take me to hospital. As i had feared my water had leaked. They admitted me to hospital and kept me under observation for 4 days and then discharged me and asked me to come back if i get pain or if bledding starts. I kept praying to God that never happens but it did on March 29th early morning i saw blood and told my family that the day we didnot want to come has arrived and i am sure i will deliver a premature baby today.

I was taken to hospital and the doctor told me that i would deliver any moment and as the water had leaked they could not find out the child weight and if the child weight is less than 400 gms they will not take care of the child. When I delivered the nurse decided not to weight the child as it looked very small and will not be more than 400 gms. I could see my little baby boy crying and no one even looking at it. Like God a nurse from the NICU came in asking if i had delivered and they wanted to know the weight of the child. The nurse told her that she didnot weight the baby as she knew it will not be more than 400 grms. The nurse took my baby to the NICU and then came back runing saying the child is 560 grms and they are admitting him. I was so happy as i now knew there was some hope left.

I went to see my little one and was so sad to see the little one will so many tubes all over his body. But kept praying for God to be with him. Slowly my little one strated growing and when ever the nurse told me his weight has increased by 1/2 gram then by 1 it meant a lot to me as i knew the little one would be big only very slowly. On April 4 frist time they gave me to hold my little one, so that he can feel his mother. that was the world for me. In July finally he came out of NICU and was in the ward with me but he was on oxygen full time. His lungs had not developed. He was with me in my hand till November then again he strated having complications and was re shifted from the ward to the NICU and then from there to ICU. He was 9 month and has gained weight up to 6 kg. I had never belive that I will ever loss my child after he being with me for so long. The doctor told me that they no more can keep my child on ventilator and so they wanted to do tracheotomy operation and I had no other option but to agree to it.

I kept checking with the nurse when they opreation will be done and they kept telling that doctor has not decided adn they will let me know when the date is fixed. On Dec 21st 2004 I was in office adn the nurse called me and told me that come fast in 15 min they will be taking the child for the operation. I called my husband who was very far and told me u reach the hospital as he will not be able to make it. I reached the hospital with my mother and he was been made ready to be shifted to the operation room.

He opened his eyes look at both of us. and left. I was outside operation room praying for him. But suddenly the door opened in 10 mins and they rushed him back to the room and close it. I could not understand if the operation was over so soon or they decided not the do it. I was so tensed as no one was telling me what had happen. Then the nurse came out and told my mother to ask me to see my child for the last time as he was sinking. I could not belive what the nurse was saying I rushed in to see he was cold and only his heart was working I looked at the doctor and he said he could not make it. Even before he was shifted to the operation table he started sinking and had to be brough back and that if we give them the permission they will stop the ventilator. I just broke down but my mother took the decision and told the doctor to go a head as it was of no use keeping him on ventilator half dead. But I requested them to wait till my husband arrived to keep him as it is so that he will see him for the last time. They waited till my husband reached and then he was gone. The whole world had come down on me and i just could not come to term with it that i have lost my little one who was with me for 9 months. He was so brave that he suffered a lot in the 9 months but still wanted to live. But I am sure God was tired making him suffer adn so he decided to take back the little angle.

On 26th Dec 2004 when the tsunami took place I was shocked to see dead body of children taken from the hands of their mothers and dumped into a truck. and saw how small my pain was. I had only taken care of my son for 9 months but here were mother whose children were 12 to 15 years old and they had lost them. See their pain I started feeling my loss very small.

I had named my son Krish.

After 5 months i was pregnent again and delivered a baby girl on 9th Feb 2006. I named her Anjali and now she is 3 1/2 years old i am very happy. I still remember my son and cry and my little baby girl knows when i am crying that its for her elder brother and she wipes my tears and says mummy i love u. All my tears gets changed into love and laughter.

I will pray for you very soon u will have a little angle to tell u he / she loves u.

God bless u. be happy god is not that bad he will give what ever he has taken from you back in double.

Roopa
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2009-08-03
#13
Name: krk
Subject:  Touched...
Hi Roopa,

Your mail touched me very much. I don´ t know if you had a chance to read mine on the member topic just below this one.

I feel the same towards my first son. I think, I too can never forget him though I am blessed with 2 now. I feel he is there within me always. July was when he was in this world. Every year I tell out to my ppl, he would have been this old now. And whenever I see kids of that age especially my friends kids who all came to this world at around the same time, it hurts me very badly. Manytimes I am lost thinking for which of my sins did God punish me.

But, yes, as you say, this sorrow though will be there for lifetime surely comes down when I am with my twins. Your last statement is very much true for me, God took away one and gave me two in return. I too had to struggle in the NICU for quite some time. With God´ s grace everything went on well this time.

Vini,

Don´ t lose hope. I know how difficult is the phase you are in. But try to divert yourself into something else which will get you involved. Try some meditation too.

I am an example to Roopa´ s last line. Have hope and God will surely give back what you have lost along with a bonus.

- Krk
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2009-08-03
#14
Name: Vini
Subject:  Hi Roopa
Thank u soo very ,much roopa for ur support and understanding..and iam really sorry to hear whatever happened with u, the pain u have gone through..iam trying my best to come to terms with the loss..but sometimes i do feel depressed and get frustrated with everything around me, with my hubby..dnt understand if what iam going through is normal or am i mentally disturbed..lost hope in life and feel that i wld never ever be able to conceive again..for nearly the last couple of days the only thing i dream of is iam very happy dying and i see someone carrying my child and waiting for me to come and take my child frm his / her hand..dnt knw what to do..anyways lets hope for the best..as they say if there is no hope u cannot live ur life...
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2009-07-06
#15
Name: MS
Subject:  heyyy
Hi Vini,
It was really sad to know what happened...I can understand what you are going thru as my sister in law went thru a similar phase (only she had to see her baby with tubes all over for 6-7 long months)...
but now she is happy as she has another baby boy...all healthy and naughty

So believe in God! You would soon have a healthy Noah in your arms..

I know it is easier said than done...but dont stress urself trhinking what happened...do not even stay depressed...it takes longer to conceive when you arent happy...engage yourself in whatever keeps you busy...that' ll help you in not crying and try to think about someting else when you are reminded of sad times

take care
MS
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2009-07-06
#16
Name: Vini
Subject:  Thank
Hi MS...Thank u for ur reply..it feels great to knw that u all are there and can understand what iam going thrgh..its so nice to hear abt ur sis in law is happy with her baby and can understand the pain she might have gone through to see her baby suffer.
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2009-07-04
#17
Name: neeta
Subject:  wish you happiness and luck
Hi Vini

I couldnt stop my tears after reading your message. I am so sorry for your lose, i can feel it.

I just hope all the happiness you deserve comes to you. My prayers are with you.

Neeta
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2009-07-06
#18
Name: Vini
Subject:  Thankss.
Hi Neeta..
Thank you very much for ur support and wld surely let u know once i get to knw something good..plz do pray for me..
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2009-07-04
#19
Name: sowdha
Subject:  be brave
Hi vini,
I really can feel the pain you must be going through. Take courage and be brave, time is a great healer. i pray to god asking him to bless you with Noah once again and very fast. All our prayers are sure with you and your family. take care of your health and all the best.

sowdha
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2009-07-06
#20
Name: Vini
Subject:  Thank U
Hello Sowdha..
Thank you very much for ur support and wld surely let u know once i get to knw something good..plz do pray for me..
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Last 7 Posts of this Board
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