Beauty & Grooming  Discussion Forum

My name is Parimala and from a Telugu speaking middle class orthodox family in Hyderabad. I am 23, have passed B.Sc. and working in an auto show room as a receptionist for the past two years. My parents have identified an engineer groom for me who is also from a similar orthodox middle class family and working in a reputed private firm. He is 26, very good looking, very well mannered. His parents are also down to earth and well mannered. The horoscope matches very well. They do not want any dowry and a simple marriage is acceptable. This is the sixth groom my parents have tried for me and they do not want to miss this family.

But the catch is this. The boy’s family had some severe problems about ten years ago. After being advised by their astrologer that the family will be better off with annual family tonsure at Tirupati and short hair, the family goes to Tirupati every June and all get tonsured. The females get their hair trimmed to nice boy cuts once in two months between tonsures. The boy’s two elder sisters began growing long hair only after they got married, one six years ago and the other four years ago. The remaining five continue the annual June family tonsure even today. The older sister’s in-laws allowed her to tonsure after her two children were born and she happily returned to biennial tonsure two years ago and boy cut in between.

We were aghast when the groom’s party came to meet us. The 78 year old granny, the boy’s 51 year old mom and the older sister were having neat barbershop boy cuts. They told all this and said that they expected the daughter in law to accept this practice whole-heartedly since short hair and annual tonsure have done good for the family. I am having a beautiful waist long braid. The family and the boy are very good but this requirement is unnerving me. My parents are pressing me to accept it happily since many middle class ladies are keeping short hair nowadays and there is nothing to be shy about it. Many ladies do get tonsured also on one pretext or the other. The older sister of the groom told me that it is a nice experience to have a tonsure and also a clipper cut in a barber shop and I should not miss it. And that is why she has returned to it even in her in-laws’ place. The show room boss does not mind my having a bald head or boy cut. Some of my friends and colleagues are pressing to accept while a few are pressurising to reject. I am at a loss. The groom’s parents have given time till 1st Jan to tell one way or the other.

If I accept, the marriage will be in March and within a week after that I and the groom will be Tirupati baldies and only after that we will have our first night. Again in June along with the family I will have to tonsure and after that a regular barber shop boy cut will be there. It will be good bye to long hair forever.

My question is: are tonsure and boy cuts really enjoyable as the groom's sister is making out? Is it worth to forego long hair for a marriage? What shall I do? NN replied. If you like the guy and his family then i think you should trust your future sister in law and take a risk but do it only if you are sure about the guy and his family as your entire life will be depending on your choice. NN replied. See if you don't want to marry someone or go into a family where you will have to keep your hair short and shave them once a year then you are free to say no as you will probably find a better family without such conditions. NN replied. See ignore the head shave and short hair part and think about it once. If you think you will be happy with that guy and his family then you should say yes and you can think about everything else later. NN replied. I think it will be a stupidity to let go on a family because they have a tradition that you are not comfortable with. You will get used to it once you join the family but if they are nice people you should accept it. NN replied. I think that your parents are right that it does not matter if you have to keep your hair short, if your boss says that he does not have a problem with you bald head or short hair then you should accept the proposal. NN replied. If you are not comfortable with maintaining short hair then you should talk to the boy's family and tell them to ask their pandit that if there is some other way so that you don't have to cut your hair. Ashna replied. I think as it is not affecting your job and your boss is okay with it then you should not think about having to keep it. If the family is ice and they will treat you properly and would treat you well then you should accept it. Parimala replied. Today is one more of the happiest days in my life. My long desired crew cut materialised today. I had about one and half inch hair all over, grown since my Tpt gundu on June 18th with my parents and brother. My m-i-l took me to the barber shop today morning. First she got her scissors boy cut done, her first since our May 19th family gundu. Then I sat in the barber chair. M-i-l indicated to the barber with her finger a point about two inches above the top of my ear. She told him to make all areas below it fully bald with clippers and the hair above it should be cut to about half inch. And the barber did just that.

The sensation of the clippers on the nape and sides was wonderful. With ear-rings, nose stud, bindi and saree the look is so good that sometimes I feel why not make this my brand style instead of the clipper boy cut. M-i-l suggested to have this cut once a year if I liked it so much, but not regularly. I have gladly accepted the suggestion. So a month after the summer family gundu every year, I will have a crew cut.

Another happy thing is that it is confirmed that I have conceived on May 20th itself, when I was freshly bald from Tpt. M-i-l is very happy about it and wants me to deliver also with bald head (around second week of Feb 17). I have gladly agreed. Starting Oct first week I will have my monthly clipper boy cut till Feb first week. Suhani replied. Hi pari,
Any how you were happily married and i hope you had kids also as early as possible. Jack replied. Hi Parimala,
There were lot of difference in your first message and present message and it is clearly seen how much happy you are and i wish it must be always for you also. Parimala replied. Hi all,
Last Saturday, I accompanied my mom, dad and brother to Tirupati with about half inch hair all over my head. The occasion was for my mom to fulfill her gundu vow in Tirumala post consummation of my marriage. For the first time in her life, she got her head shaved and was extremely happy that she did it. With permission from my m-i-l and husband (who left abroad a week earlier) I also got my head gundified in Tirumala for the third time in the calendar year. The four baldies returned to Hyd happily. Mom's happiness knows no bounds at this moment. She says that she will again tonsure her head after my brother's marriage - about three years hence.

I will be having a crew cut early August and a short clipper boy cut from October onwards. Lia replied. Hello Parimala,
So finally you had clipper cut it was so nice of your mother in law.And are going to continue with the same hair style also in future. Janu replied. Hi Parimala,
So nice of you that you had posted an comment of what you have did.So you were happy with your married life.I wish the love which had given by god must be continued life long. Parimala replied. Hi all,

I am Parimala. On May 8th, my prospective m-i-l took me to the barbershop where she regularly goes and got me a nice pre-marriage clipper boy cut. The barber made my back and sides bald to about an inch above the top of my ears and the top hair just long enough to comb into a boyish style with a left parting. What a great feeling it was to have a clipper cut! Myself, my parents and even most of my colleagues loved it.

On May 16th my marriage was held and I had about a week’s growth on the sides and back – an exquisite look for the marriage. On 19th the entire family went to Tirupati and the whole of my in-laws’ family including me became bald. 20th night, we had our first night followed by a 3 day honeymoon. Now I am back in the showroom with my bald head – fourth time in the year. I am very happy with my state now – a very good family, loving husband and highly enjoyable short hair! Harsha replied. Hi Parimala,
It is good read one of your post that you had married to same guy.And even you had followed all rituals also.Then it is clear that you had a beautiful experience from your hair cut. Pari replied. Hello Parimala,
I have read your postings and even the decision you had taken also and you got married finally so can you say how is your married life also if it is possible what would be the suggestions you are going to post also. Neetu replied. Hi Parimala,
So can you say what you have done also and i wish you good luck for your future and i think you are happy with your hair styles also and i wish you would share all your experiences also if possible. Jasmine replied. Hi Pari,
Finally you had taken the decision to go for hair cut and how is your first experience also can you share about that and what would be the present status of your and are you going to maintain the same hair style until now. Dev replied. Hello Pari,
Congrats to you that you were married and had one new family for you so what you done did you accepted the hair cut and how was your experience about that can you share all those details of possible. Priya replied. Hello Pari,
It is good to hear that you got married and you have done tonsure also then what was your experience can you say that and are you going to maintain the same hair style or not what decision you have taken can you share it.