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Hair Care:What shall I do?
2015-12-23
Name: Parimala My name is Parimala and from a Telugu speaking middle class orthodox family in Hyderabad. I am 23, have passed B.Sc. and working in an auto show room as a receptionist for the past two years. My parents have identified an engineer groom for me who is also from a similar orthodox middle class family and working in a reputed private firm. He is 26, very good looking, very well mannered. His parents are also down to earth and well mannered. The horoscope matches very well. They do not want any dowry and a simple marriage is acceptable. This is the sixth groom my parents have tried for me and they do not want to miss this family.

But the catch is this. The boy’s family had some severe problems about ten years ago. After being advised by their astrologer that the family will be better off with annual family tonsure at Tirupati and short hair, the family goes to Tirupati every June and all get tonsured. The females get their hair trimmed to nice boy cuts once in two months between tonsures. The boy’s two elder sisters began growing long hair only after they got married, one six years ago and the other four years ago. The remaining five continue the annual June family tonsure even today. The older sister’s in-laws allowed her to tonsure after her two children were born and she happily returned to biennial tonsure two years ago and boy cut in between.

We were aghast when the groom’s party came to meet us. The 78 year old granny, the boy’s 51 year old mom and the older sister were having neat barbershop boy cuts. They told all this and said that they expected the daughter in law to accept this practice whole-heartedly since short hair and annual tonsure have done good for the family. I am having a beautiful waist long braid. The family and the boy are very good but this requirement is unnerving me. My parents are pressing me to accept it happily since many middle class ladies are keeping short hair nowadays and there is nothing to be shy about it. Many ladies do get tonsured also on one pretext or the other. The older sister of the groom told me that it is a nice experience to have a tonsure and also a clipper cut in a barber shop and I should not miss it. And that is why she has returned to it even in her in-laws’ place. The show room boss does not mind my having a bald head or boy cut. Some of my friends and colleagues are pressing to accept while a few are pressurising to reject. I am at a loss. The groom’s parents have given time till 1st Jan to tell one way or the other.

If I accept, the marriage will be in March and within a week after that I and the groom will be Tirupati baldies and only after that we will have our first night. Again in June along with the family I will have to tonsure and after that a regular barber shop boy cut will be there. It will be good bye to long hair forever.

My question is: are tonsure and boy cuts really enjoyable as the groom's sister is making out? Is it worth to forego long hair for a marriage? What shall I do?
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2016-10-20
#1
Name: Deeksha
Subject:  RE:What shall I do?
Hi it all depends on the person there are some people who like to go for short hair while there are some people who are not really happy with boy cut. So its your decide to go for the one you think is good
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2016-10-18
#2
Name: Keetki
Subject:  RE:What shall I do?
Hi there are a lot of women and men who like to have boy cut. You are the one to decide if you really feel this is a great idea and will it fit your personality accordingly get it done
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2016-08-29
#3
Name: Hardika
Subject:  RE:What shall I do?
If i was in your place i would have not accepted the marriage proposal as it is unfair to ask them to follow their hair cutting thing that their pandit has told them. Being superstitious even after being educated is not nice.
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2016-08-25
#4
Name: Rinki
Subject:  RE:What shall I do?
What do you think you want in life for the future? Long hair or a good family and a good husband? I think their condition is not that major and it should not even be considered as a problem for this marriage proposal.
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2016-08-25
#5
Name: Ritu
Subject:  RE:What shall I do?
I would personally suggest that you should not say yes for such a superstitious family. As for now they are asking you to shave your head and then keep your head short, you never know what they would say in the future.
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2016-08-24
#6
Name: Ashna
Subject:  RE:What shall I do?
I would suggest that it is not worth giving up such a great marriage offer for long hair. Acc to me the family seems to be nice and even the guy seems to be good so i think you should ignore their condition.
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2016-08-24
#7
Name: Aakriti
Subject:  RE:What shall I do?
You and probably your husband to be both are educated and both of you should know that all this short hair and head shave is nothing but superstition so you should try talking to him about it and see what he says.
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2016-08-24
#8
Name: Ashna
Subject:  RE:What shall I do?
Your family is right, a lot of women are choosing to keep their hair short and actually not only normal women even celebrities are going for short hair rather than long hair. I think you should say yes for the marriage.
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2016-08-24
#9
Name: Aneeta
Subject:  RE:What shall I do?
See if you like the family and you don't have any problem with their condition about having short hair and shaving your head once a year then you should say yes as letting a good family go because of confusion would be not good.
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2016-08-24
#10
Name: Ashna
Subject:  RE:What shall I do?
See it depends on you if you are ready to keep your hair short for the rest of your life or not. If you are not ready to then tell your parents that you don't want to sacrifice anything and you don't want any conditions in your marriage.
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2016-08-24
#11
Name: Del
Subject:  RE:What shall I do?
See you should explain your parents that you don't have to compromise with anything even if they have found a good family and a good guy. Tell them that you would like to wait for a family which does not have any conditions.
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2016-08-22
#12
Name: NN
Subject:  RE:What shall I do?
I think you should make a decision for your self as this is something you will have to live with for your entire life. Consider everything and think about it properly by taking your time. Take to the guy too.
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2016-08-21
#13
Name: NN
Subject:  RE:What shall I do?
It is very difficult to find a good family who is not selfish and would actually behave nicely even after the marriage. Since you have time to think properly and make the right choice that will be better for you.
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2016-08-21
#14
Name: NN
Subject:  RE:What shall I do?
I know this is very difficult as this choice will affect your entire life and you will have to be happy with it and comfortable too. But i think the family's love and care should over shadow all these things.
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2016-08-21
#15
Name: NN
Subject:  RE:What shall I do?
Meet a pandit yourself and tell him that the groom's family has such conditions and then ask him is other any other thing you can do to not do that like any havan or any pooja? Also talk to the groom's family.
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2016-08-21
#16
Name: NA
Subject:  RE:What shall I do?
Short hair are very much into fashion and they always are. If you are getting a family that will treat you like their daughter and would love you a lot then you should not reject it because of the conditions they are keeping.
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2016-08-21
#17
Name: NN
Subject:  RE:What shall I do?
I don't know what doubts you are having and why. You know that the family is nice and even the guy is and has a very good job so if you have to keep your hair short then what is the big deal about it?
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2016-08-21
#18
Name: Ashna
Subject:  RE:What shall I do?
You should not give up on something that you want just because you think you would not find something as good as what you are getting right now. So if you don't want to compromise with the hair issue then you shouldn't.
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2016-08-21
#19
Name: NN
Subject:  RE:What shall I do?
I think you should think about it once peacefully. Way the pros and cons about saying yes or no and then do what you think would be the best for you. Do not come under the pressure of your parents just follow your heart.
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2016-08-21
#20
Name: NN
Subject:  RE:What shall I do?
If you like the guy and his family then i think you should trust your future sister in law and take a risk but do it only if you are sure about the guy and his family as your entire life will be depending on your choice.
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