Relationships  Discussion Forum

Check this and reply if you experienced this problem and what you did for this.
As what happens in most of Indian families, hubby left for his gulf job within 20 days after we tied the knot.As by the custom ,I stayed back in his parents house.I behaved with them as I would have with my parents little realizing that I was inviting trouble.

We had gone to visit a relative who was keeping unwell.Brought up in metro city , I sat in the living room as usual .Father in law asked me to get up and sit with the other ladies in Kitchen.I got up and left.

After reaching home that night, he blasted me saying my parents hasn' t brought me up properly.I have no manners , I am not behaving like a woman and all the crap.I have to take care of his wife .He kept on ordering me the list of duties that i should do.I just stared at him,thinking am I married of to a 16th century family.I silently heard all these,but I felt like asking why cant you accept the daughter in law as your daughter.

That incident gave a tremendous impact on my life,I started my first steps to isolate myself from the In-law folks.One incident lead to another ,now I rarely talk to them. Suhani replied. Old minds usually don't change and you are not wrong about feeling the way you do. You should try talking to your husband about all the things that are taking place and see how he responds to it and maybe he could help you reconnect with your in-laws in a better way. sudha replied. there is nothing wrong if they are not accepting u as u r. like their daughter. it is vvery unnfair to behave like this. of course it is 21st century and they should respect women and consider them equal to them. Kumar replied. Dear lady,
I deeply sympathize with you for having to tolerate old-fashioned in-laws. I know it is quite difficult especially when you are newly married and left your home and gone to your husband' s home. It is quite normal to feel emotional when your in-laws chide you for silly matters.
But think this way, if your parents chided for the same, would you have felt bad so much? Obviously no. It is not possible to change your in-laws as they are old and they think they have a right to advise you. So don' t take it to heart and start hating them which will not help you nor your marital life. Rather go easy for few days , and accept whatever they tell with a smile. Later you can have a one on one conversation with your in-laws with the help of your hubby and tell them how you are open to suggestion and learn new customs but feel bad when they chide you. Probably they also understand. Since there is a generation gap, we youngsters have to excuse their odd behaviors for the sake of family and it always pays off. But dont always feel victmised by them , as it will add up and burst later point of time. Not its up to you to manage these people so that they dont get hurt as well as you dont get hurt.

kumar