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Miscarriage and Child Loss:feelin Guilty
2002-12-21
Name: Meena I just went through a miscarriage and I am feeling so bad that I may have been responsible for losing the baby. Even though I did not do anything out of the ordinary, I keep feeling that if I had not gone shopping, that if I had not gone swimming that if I had not taken a trip out of town, I would have still had the baby. I know that my mother in law also blames me for the miscarriage. My husband prefers not to talk about it. Its is only my doctos who keeps telling me that it is not becasue I did anything wrong, it is just the body's way of rejecting something that is not normal. I would like to talk to others who have also gone through this painful experience.
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2006-11-14
#1
Name: Anjana Shankar
Subject:  SAME
I am going through ivf process staying at my sister-in-law place.It was my 6th week and my spectacles broke I expected my sister-in-law to mend it but it was toomuch boderation for her to go alone and I was told to go along with her .She took many of her house hold work.Everything was ok by that time but as soon as I was by the gate of campus my auto dashed a bike and I was nerves my bleeding started I talked to my docter she told to rest next day I was admitted by telling everything is ok but bleeding should stop.My husband was called whole day I stayed alone in hospital next day my husband came of courcehearing all the stories after my sister_in_law .He didn't even talked to docter and trying to convince it is not the reason by the time things were ok but my heart broke when my husband told he can't stay for any botheration.And I wepped within my heart unknowingly it will harm my baby.May be that the reason.There is no proper support for pregnant women.I have to go there for next cycle dont know when.
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2004-01-05
#2
Name: Swati
Subject:  Don't feel so bad
I went through the exact same thing, where I felt I was completely to blame. And had it not been for my husband, I would have gone through hell!!! I don't worry about it anymore because now I have a healthy 3 year old girl. So don't lose heart.
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2003-10-03
#3
Name: Harpal
Subject:  Don't Loose Your Heart.
Hi,
Me and my wife just went throu a miscarriage. My wife was 13 weeks pregnent. Doctor adviced her to go for a sonography and after the report came we come to know that the baby stopped growing during the 7th week only. My wife carried dead foeatus for almost one and a half months and the most interesting part is that even the doctor was not aware of this fact. Although we go to doctor for a weekly checkup.

Right now both of us are in a traumic state but I still thank the God for not causing any harm to my wife. She is still safe after carrying the dead baby for about one and half months.
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2003-06-26
#4
Name: kalindee
Subject:  Meena
Meena,

I also had one miscarriage and sometimes, I blame myself for it. In my first timester, I went to California to meet my sister and niece. I went out and did Thanksgiving early bird shopping. After coming from there, I found out that my baby didn't grow and I had to do DMC. I blame myself inspite of 4 doctors (relatives) told me that it was not my fault and it can happen to any women. Sometimes, nature takes its own course and reject pregnancy.
So, don't worry and please don't feel guilty. I am sure that you will get pregnant again and next time, try not to do too much work and avoid travelling atleast in first timester.
relax and feel happy.
I wish you all the best.
Kalindee
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2003-05-07
#5
Name: Viren
Subject:  Important - READ!
Meena, A miscarriage is a way of saying that this wasn't meant to be. Do not let anyone blame you and do not blame yourself. You have done nothing wrong by going on a trip, or shopping or by even swimming. In fact all that you did that you think caused the miscarriage is the complete opposite. By doing these things you were actually being active (form of exercise). So, don't let this affect you in anyway shape or form. I am a male and could never understand the hurt that you are going through but remember this, you did absolutely nothing wrong. Take care and good luck. My prayers are with you.
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2003-03-27
#6
Name: sarah
Subject:  i have been there
I understand what you are going through. I was very young when I had to experience it. I can gaurantee you it is not anything you did that caused it. Listen to your doctor whoever your doctor is told you right. Its not your fault and try not to stress about it too much just try and go on with life and never forget your baby cause no matter if the baby lived or not it was still your baby. Sometimes things just happen in strange ways. Hope you cheer up soon
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2003-03-25
#7
Name: zamruth
Subject:  You are not alone.....
Dear Meena,

I can truly understand your feelings. I myself had a miscarriage last year. It was a very painful experience.

But dont give up. Atleast i didnt.
I'm 7 weeks pregnant now & I'm real excited about it. So do keep trying & may god bless you with a child soon.
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2003-01-31
#8
Name: SS
Subject:  Take care!
Hi Meena,

Take it easy. I know its hard but there is tough time in everyone's life. Don't lose hope and keep your sanity by beleiving in God. There is nothing you've done that caused u this pain. your doctor's are right. Don't listen to people's comments instead believe in yourself. You'll soon have a healthy baby.

All the best!
Love,
Shiwani
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2003-01-28
#9
Name: pmarjara
Subject:  Miscarriages
Hi
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2003-01-06
#10
Name: chaya
Subject:  Me too
I had a miscarriage last year while i was in India. I can understand the anger, confusion, guilt and helplessness that you are going through. In fact, many relatives did think that I should have taken lot of rest, eat better.... etc. my doctor in India as well as here in USA explained that 20% of pregnancy end up in miscarriage for many unknown reason. I did ask the doctor in India whether the miscarriage was result of traveling in autos, bus etc. She said NO. Women in India travel in auto's every day and they don't end up in miscarriages. She said same thing that your doctor told that it is just the body's way of rejecting something that is not normal

Don't expect to get over this miscarriage in days. It will (depends) take time. Dont expect others to understand what you are going through. In fact, my husband got over in weeks, but i took nearly 4 months. I know that you will have lot of doubts about whether you can conceive again etc. If your doctor said there is no problem in you and you can conceive next time, just believe them. They are professional and they know what they are doing. Right now, all you should worry about is taking care of yourself
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2002-12-29
#11
Name: gargi
Subject:  Very sad
Even i had faced this problem not once but three times & can understand the situation what u r facing t'day. But by the grace of god t'day i am having a daughter who is now of 2yr old. So my sincere request to all of u is not to blame ur'self. It is in the hand of god & definitely he will shower his blessings to u. Even now i remember the situation when i had miscarriage & i was so depressed that i decided to join office early in order to curb my depression. At times my husband also do'nt like to hear the talk of my child & at time si used to feel so lonely. Only one advice i would like u to give is that whenever next time u become pregnant, take complete bed rest & visit to ur doctor regularly. I was completely on bed for 9 months which may be very boaring but one had to do this.
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2002-12-22
#12
Name: renu
Subject:  Me too
I had a miscarraige just 3 days before,, i am so depressed now,,, it was going to be my first child. I just want him back,,and i know its impossible, well, please anyone tell me that will i get any type of problem for conceving ?? i am very worried .. so please help me out.
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2003-03-25
#13
Name: zamruth
Subject:  Dont worry...
Dear Renu,

I was in the same shoes as you last year, when i had a miscarriage. It was also my first child.But dont worry, you wont have any problems conceiving again, juz keep cool & keep on trying. Have faith in whatever you do. I'm pregnant now. Hope you too will be blessed with a kid soon. My prayers are with you.Take care!
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2002-12-21
#14
Name: Sumitra
Subject:  Me too
I had a miscarriage last year after trying for 3 years and aI just couldn't get over that. I in fact went into a major depression because although I had done nothing specific on that day, everybody blamed me for the loss of the baby. I am now 6 months pregnant and only now have gotten over it. I still remember the day when that baby would have been born.
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2003-09-18
#15
Name: Monika
Subject:  Hi!!!
I had a misscarriage last year on 16th sep.I can't forget that day.But due to god's grace now i'm 20 weeks pregnant.I can understand the feelings of all of u.I just want to suggest u if u are trying to concieve don't worry about getting pregnant again.worries make things late.So stay cool.
Best of luck
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Last 7 Posts of this Board
RE:hi richa
Hello ridhi .. i read your comment on post reoccurrent miscarriage .. m dealing with the same situation as of its my 3rd miscarriage in a row .. please help n suggest me the nAme of your doctor..... - Vishal [View Message]
RE:High TNF-Alpha can be reason fr early miscarriages
Wow Neeta. You sound very familiar to all these cellular terminologies. Very few patients and women are found knowledgeable.
In moat cases the gynecologists and doctors do not let the couple or the patient understand reason of miscarriage and infertility.
In my cases luckily I met Dr. Rajeev Agarwal (Director of Care IVF in Kolkata) before I enroll myself for ... - Shreya [View Message]
RE:High TNF-Alpha can be reason fr early miscarriages
hello neeta,
conceiving is major task in one women life, it is done when they do not have any health issues, its becoming very hard to conceive only you should first confirm it.... - nitu [View Message]
RE:High TNF-Alpha can be reason fr early miscarriages
hello neeta,
its really not good whatever happened with you, and your desire would get fulfilled also, i really wish blessing for you, and your life get sorted out as soon as possible.... - divya [View Message]
RE:Miscarriage in 20 weeks!!!
This is really sad and my deep concerns are with you, please make yourself busy in some activities and try be happy as much as you can please do not worry at all.... - Aditi [View Message]
RE:Miscarriage in 20 weeks!!!
Oh my god this is very sad to happen and that to twice, will pray for you and god will give you the strength to fight against this and I'm sure god will give you the joy happiness what yo are trying for.... - Amaira [View Message]
RE:Miscarriage in 20 weeks!!!
Hi please believe in god as he is great and surely will make you happy and will bless with a kid, just be strong at this point of time as your husband would also be broken and he also needs the support.... - Anita [View Message]